DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/20/10).

Saturday nights in the city are always on some next level crazy tip obviously. But now being a part-time cab driver…I notice this even more now. Hella money is out there to be made because something I’ve noticed over my first two days working is that people will come to the East Village from deep in the Upper East Side; resulting in $10+ cab rides every time. Here I’m basically gonna give you the story of the day, tipper of the day and the grade A jackass of the day.

Story of the day: Since I live about 10 minutes from JFK…it makes sense for me to start my trip from there. I’m sent to the Delta terminal but I go to the wrong one (there’s two of them). Nevertheless, the dispatcher gives me this chick who’s goin to the Bronx. Immediately I’m like fuckkk since driving-wise I’m hella unfamiliar with the BX so she’s gonna have to give me directions. Apparently I’m goin towards the Bronx/Westchester border so that right there is gonna be some bread. She was comin in from Little Rock but describing the hell she was in bc she was staying in a small town on the extreme southern edge of the state. We actually have a pretty good convo about her dad abandoning her & her siblings but now that he’s sick he’s being more contrite, etc. Everything is all good…until I get to her & her husband’s house. Peep this sketchiness:
– Her husband deadbolted the door so she couldn’t get inside (she had house keys but not the keys to the deadbolt).
– She didn’t have enough cash with her or a credit card (she was talkin about how if she carried her cards she would have o’ded on spendin while down in AR). Her husband was holdin on to them and he was takin the train back to the crib…so we had to wait for him to get there.
– When he finally did 45 minutes after I got to her house, he gave her her card…only for it to be declined. So now they had to pay with the cash that her husband was carrying.
-Final total: $63+ tip= $80.

Tipper of the day: After being sent to Brownsville, I went back to the airport & had to wait quite a while for the next set of passengers. I come across this couple that had been chillin in LAX for the past month or so and carried quite a bit of luggage. They were heading back to their apartment on the East Village…which at 1230 is EXACTLY where I wanted to be heading. After cruising & getting to the apartment in due time…I get $45+ tip= $60.

Grade A Jackass of the day: Really it’s a tie. They did nothing wrong in terms of attitude or whatnot…it’s just that the cheapness confounded me a bit. Group 1a goes to these 2 black women who were with 2 kids. I stop at Penn Station hopin to pick up some of those infamous B&T slores who are ready to head out. Just my luck I see these ladies walkin towards my cab carrying a suitcase. “Where are you going?” Them- “Brooklyn…Brownsville.” For those familiar with the 5 boros…Brownsville is one of the 5 places you really DON’T want to be. The ride was for the most part smooth…but the broad tried questioning me as to why I went across 14th street instead of the West Side Highway. Um, it’s pretty much the same shit & I actually saved you some time. Final total: $33+tip= $35. Cheap asses. And you wonder why cabs don’t stop for us colored folks.
Person 1b was right after I had dropped off some Jersey slores ($7.50+tip=$10). This punk rocker lookin fella gets in my cab goin towards the Upper East Side. This mothafucka uses his credit card & gives me a 59 cent tip. SMFH.

Miscellaneous broad of the day: After my $60 cab ride, I get this drunk chick headin back to money-makin Park Avenue. She calls her boyfriend who answers (but apparently he hadn’t been answering her calls all night or some shit). Look, if you and your significant other are gonna be partying at separate venues…you need to relax. She apparently began getting paranoid that he mighta been talkin to other chicks. She was beggin for him to go outside & have a real conversation with her…WTF? Then she was pleading for him to go home because she was in a cab alone and began crying. Rule #1 of my cab…there’s no crying in that bitch. She gave me though $11+tip=$14 so I let her rock ha.

Overall, Saturday nights are an interesting cast of characters. You got the people who are doing the upper-class shit (going to see a show; coming from a wine tasting, etc.) and then you got the ones that just wanna PARTY. My final cab ride took me back to Brooklyn but this chick gave me $19+tip=$24 which is how it SHOULD be done you cheap ass Brownsville broads.

And so on.


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