DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/26-2/28/10).

The snowstorm was a boon for me this weekend since everybody decided to be out and about more than usual.

Story of the Weekend: I pick up these two chicks from the Lower East Side (Ludlow & Stanton streets) and they ask me how much it costs to get to West Broadway because they supposedly only have $20. I tell them it’s about $8 and they get in the van. I overhear the brunette tellin the blonde one how much of a turn-on it is to be fuckin one of her other friend’s husbands even though she knows it’s bad. I’m Kanye-Shruggin and the blonde goes “this is so a taxi cab confessional.” The blonde one goes on to tell me that although she’s married to a guy…that she’s bi-sexual and has a girl-guy like ratio of 70%-30%. I wonder what her husband thinks about that ha. They get out of my cab & the blonde gives me four $2 bills and for me to keep the change…which would have been a dime SMH.

While most of the people who get in my cab talk amongst themselves you’ll have quite a few that will. This one older lady talked to me about Cash Cab & Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. This openly gay Italian guy that took me to Washington Heights from Houston Street ($27+tip= $30) preached to me about how people don’t have their priorities straight anymore amongst other things. This cougar whose boyfriend plays in a band talked to me about how facebook is the devil. A group of 5 girls from the UK that I picked up on Park Avenue wanted to find a place in Greenwich Village where they played 80s music…I did not know. But they gave me advice on how long you should take to call a girl (24 hours). And another guy from the UK was curious to know why cabbies in NYC drive so ruthlessly and aggressively and I broke it down to him.

Tippers of the Weekend:
– A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($45+tip= $55)
– A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($50+tip= $58)
– Trip to Greenwich Village ($13.50+tip= $20)
– A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($50+tip= $57…although they were European and didn’t actually mean to give me that tip).

Grade A Jackasses of the Weekend:
– This dumb broad not knowing her math and only giving me $5 on a $5.50 fare.
– The broads who gave me the four $2 bills mentioned above.
– Any non UK person from Europe who gets in your cab will not tip. Per example- these 2 German dudes tell me they need to go to 80th street…but you know how it goes it sounds like EIGHTTEEN so that’s where I go & that forces me to waste my time.
– This Ecuadorian couple I pick up from Times Square to drop off in Queens give me a $1 tip.
– Ditto with this group of 3 who I pick up from Houston Street on Saturday night.

If you don’t know…now you know: When you pay in cash..the cabbie keeps everything outside of the 50 cent MTA surcharge & whatever tolls. However if you want to be an ass or if you think he’s one…if you pay with credit card, the credit card company takes a portion of the fare. So if you pay for a $6 fare and tip a dollar…the cabbie will only see the $6.

Thing that made me go hmm: I picked up this white kid from Park Avenue South which took me towards the East Village again. I have DJ Kay Slay on and he’s playin some Cam’ron with Vado…and the kid tells me to “turn that shit up”. I tried so hard not to have a stunned look on my face.

And so on.


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