DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/11/10).

Thursdays apparently are my days where I don’t make too many trips…but the ones that I have are relatively long.

I always smell the grade A jackasses from as soon as I get in my cab. If they have an accent that is not American nor British…I will expect a dollar tip at the maximum. This Asian broad who hops in my cab out of nowhere after I dropped somebody else off tells me to take her to “Gran CentraTerminal” from 34th and 6th. Fair enough. The fare comes out to $6. She gives me a $10. “Gimme-a-fo-dollars-back” Fuck out my cab bitch.

The guy right after her tells me to take him to 640 3rd avenue from there…except um, it’s 2 and a half blocks away dawg. He starts laughing and gives me $6.

A few passengers later I pick up this Italian fella wantin to go down to this restaurant on Mott between Prince & Spring streets. This monster $15.50 fare from 57th and Park Avenue is rewarded by a fabulous 50 cent tip.

The next person I pick up is a Caribbean-American woman wanting to go to Queens. Oh boy was my thoughts immediately. The oh boy however turned into an oh shit when she actually left me a $6 tip on a $27. It got suspect for a quick second because she got out the cab to pick up her boys (turned out to be sons) but I dropped them off 4 blocks later.

The person of the day however was this fella goin to Floral Park right across the border in Nassau from LaGuardia Airport. A mean $37 cab ride was given a $10 tip. I like your style sir.

The next to last person of the day tho was prob my most interestin character because he’s this typical nigga that I’d see who’d be lurkin at Webster Hall on a Saturday night or some shit. First the dude hails a cab without lookin, which I thought was weird. Then he immediately asks me “Fam why it say an extra dollar…it’s ‘posed to be fiddy cent.” Well dawg…it USED to be 50 cents and it still says it ON the cab…but there’s an MTA tax now. “When that start, couple hours ago?? It was 50 cent earlier I been on 3 cabs tonight fam.” Ha yeah aight nigga. Then…”yo fam whats good wit these lights why they on?” I go to turn them off..but I also realized that one of my doors wasn’t closed properly (more on that in a minute). As always, I got the radio on Hot 97 & my dude DJ Kay Slay. “Turn that up fam.” Not surprised. He tells me to turn it up twice more. Fair enough. Fare comes out to $9.90 and quite frankly I thought this simple nigga was gonna hop out the cab, turn his swag on take a look at me n say whats good now. Nope he gives me a $20, I give him back $10 and he gets out. Fuck, I should have given him the extra dime too.

I drive a van. I don’t understand what’s so fuckin complex about closing/opening a slide door. “Ugh this door is so hard to slideeeee.” They teach you as a kid right after you take your diapers off that you pull towards you to open. Then you pull to the left to the left and VOILA MUH FUCKAAAAA. To close, pull towards you & pull to the right BOOM. Simple. SMFH.

And so on.


1 Response to “DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/11/10).”

  1. March 12, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    i love your equal opportunity loathing. its so refreshing. another great post!

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