DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/12/10).

It’s Fridayyy nightttt and people just got paid. So yeah, let’s everyone fuckin give me $20 bills and take all my muh fuckin change. Segue:

I started later than usual today because my partner-in-crime who drives the cab in the early shift didn’t finish until around 530 (2 hours late). My first trip was a “shorty” to the infamous East New York section of Brooklyn. Sigh. Last time I was around there I got a $2 tip on a $33 ride so I wasn’t expectin shit this time. $24+$1= $25 gimme $5 back. Negrodamus wins. Flawless Victory.

The character of the day however came on my second ride. This Moroccan dude who just flew in from Paris is all excited about comin to “my favorite city in di whole entire world NEW YORK.” Aww. Anyway, he asks me if I like rap music (stereotype) and yes I do. He tells me some shit about how he is gonna meet P. Diddy this week for a meeting because he sent a CD in and he supposedly liked it. Whether or not this story is true it was entertaining to hear him talk about how he quit drinkin 3 years ago…but all he ever drank was wine & champagne anyway “it make me sleepy.” Yeah no shit. The young fella went to talk about how his voice “can sound like a man or woman” ummm okay. Then he asks me “I hear NY women aren’t that hard.” No they’re not when you have an accent from another country. French people don’t tip & he was no exception.

Intermission: Why do Filet-O-Fishes at McDonalds only contain a half of a slice of cheese?

After droppin off a random broad, these ladies tryna go to Hunts Point in the Bronx (FUCK THAT) ask how much a cab would cost. $30-$40 and no you cannot pay in half cash half food stamps. These 2 dudes get in the cab and say “my bad for cockblockin you”. Cockblockin what ha?

This broad & her male cronies get in my cab to go to Williamsburg. She hops in the front & starts controllin my fuckin radio! What is this?? DJ Snowflake in the house? She puts it on a Spanish station. They paid well tho so I let it rock but what in the fidduckkkk.

I’m not gonna front, I saw a brotha hail a cab & I passed him by. My excuse though was I was on the other side of the street.

Why is it that when I mention driving a cab because “you gotta do what you gotta do” when I’m talkin to people they pull the “you know, I was just talkin to someone about that kinda stuff..” line? Happened to me twice. Both with blonde taken females sigh. The first one though was intrigued about me volunteering with Music For Tomorrow. The second chick was a waitress. Then she mentioned the word boyfriend.

I had to break change & I was around the Chelsea area. You know what that has the potential to mean. Yes, I picked up 2 males whose sexual preference was male and they were going to a bar called POSH on 51st street & 9th avenue. I wish I was makin that shit up. You learn somethin new everyday.

Drew Carey’s ugly step-brother gets in my cab but then tells me he has to make a stop on 2nd avenue & 14th street. I figured he was gonna get food…but he went to the DVD store. WTF?? No it was not the XXX shop, though I do not know if they have a section. I don’t think I would want to know anyway.

The temptation to mack it to chicks in the cab increases everyday.

Hot Spots of the Day: 6th and 7th avenues. Always poppin with ppl desperate for cabs.

And so on.


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