DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (Moments I Forgot to Mention).

I deal with so many muh fuhs out there that sometimes I forget some shit only for those memories to resurface.

The same people from Saturday night with the DK-plus sized fella askin about porn…I said the word “yall” and one of the dudes assumes I’m not from around here. I laugh at him and ask him where you think I’m from?? His first guess is Texas. WTF?? Do I have a southern drawl or somethin?? You tryna call me Mike Jones? SMFH. Anyway, he goes on to say “I’d figure you’d say “yous guys.”” Hold that thought. When’s the last time you heard a black person say “yous guys?” I love my Italian people, I have a fetish for Italian girls, I love goin to Mulberry Street every now and feel like the Token Mafioso…but come on.

The drunk kid who blasts my radio thinkin it was Funkmaster Flex…his boy first said I looked like Rick Ross. (50% combo hit). Then he said scratch that…more like Timbaland (Fatality). Fuck my life.

Why in God’s name would you hail a cab on the OPPOSITE corner when you want to go one-way down that same fuckin street? These Spanish people I swear. I pick them up & they expect me to cut through FOUR lanes to make a right turn on Houston Street. I subliminally shitted on them though, when they got out the cab and gave me a $10 on a $5.60 fare…they asked me for $4 back and I said “Heh heh I figured.” It went over her head like a Jamarcus Russell 5 yard pass.

This one dude that took me to Brooklyn Heights…I swear I never seen a white person run so fast. I thought he was gettin chased in the safari by a lion. I was on the FAR right side of Houston Street and he comes SPRINTING from I’d say 70 yards away running across 7 lanes (it was a red light). Usain Bolt would have been jealous & might have lost to this guy. I didn’t even get a chance to move.

Yeah that’s it for now on these lost sagas. New shift tomorrow beginning at 415pm EDT chillin at the JFK Airport lot (where yes there’s a place where Muslims can pray to the East to Allah but what about if I want to kneel down & pray to God?? I can’t. I lose.)

And so on.


1 Response to “DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (Moments I Forgot to Mention).”

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