24
Mar
10

DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/23/10).

Today was sluggish as fuck but as usual you had some clowns that did a good job entertaining me.

After a basic JFK-Manhattan trip…I went down 7th avenue and picked up this dude on around 48th street. “You think we can make it to Penn in 12 minutes??” Yezzir. I get there in about 4. The $5.10 ride gets ballooned to $9 all in singles. Sweet.

It would come in handy later on my next trip. I go to Port Authority & originally I was gonna pick up this Spanish dude who speaka no engrish. The thing was though..his hotel was on 38th between 7th and 8th avenues. No worries about the border, walk it. This black dude & his girl are next on queue which immediately makes me mutter “Fuck” because I already know I’m goin out the boro of Manhattan. “Marcy & Nostrand” You have got to be kiddin me. They somehow expect me to get on the FDR to the Williamsburg Bridge but there are a few problems:
1) I ain’t cuttin FOUR lanes of traffic to make a right on 42nd street; I can feasibly only make a left onto 9th ave & take that downtown.
2) The FDR doesn’t even take you directly to the bridge…it actually puts you on Grand Street and you have to go uptown 4 blocks not to mention further east crosstownwise…so that’s extra money.
I do my thing & I get directed when I’m in the BK no problem. When the trip is done it comes out to $26.40. The broad is gonna pay for the trip and I hear her go “Five dolla tip?? Hell nah I don’t wanna do that I need to go back.” Ouch. When the dust cleared my meter read “Tip: $0.00”. The first of the month needs to hurry and get here. They had like 4-5 bags of shit they bought and I can’t even get an extra penny for a tip eff yo muh fuh plastic couches. Maybe she was usin one of those Rush Prepaid Cards I don’t know.

To add insult to injury some next nigga tryna hail me & he ask me where I’m comin from. The city, nigga. Port Authority? Yezzir. Aight.

It never ceases to amaze me what some ppl will do to get a cab. I was stopped at a red light on 7th avenue and 35th street after I dropped off an emo Chinaboy and even though I’m in the middle lane, boom out comes five people outta nowhere gettin into my van. I went way downtown to Greenwich Street with them.

I’ve come to notice it’s the people I least expect that tell me to turn up the volume on the radio. This couple of Caucasian descent gets in and Funkmaster Flex is on. Lil Wayne/Drake is on and the girl goes “Excuse me, do you mind turning the volume up?” What in the?? I had to ask again “Up?” “Yeah.” LMFAOOOO. Maybe it was so they didn’t want me overhearing their convo but why would I give a shit about what they talk about. Honestly most couples who get in my cab talk about boring ass shit amongst each other. Either that or they’re makin out in DK’s Bordello.

This white gentleman gets in my cab & immediately asks me jokingly if this is the cash cab.
DISCLAIMER: The next person that asks me that question is gonna win a roll of pennies.
NO I AM NOT THE EFFIN CASH CAB.
(Although I in reality just laughed it off and told him that he never knows though maybe one day. Aka now you’re a tale on The Broken Meter HA HAAAAA).

Another guy gets in and asks me towards the end of my ride if people harass me about the whole taxi conspiracy. I tell him no not really. I should have said except for you but he asked nicely. I tell him the same thing I say all the time…I feel the taxi drivers; but it’s fucked up on the passengers nonetheless.

On Broadway and around 67th street I saw some sirens and a car that got into a crash. It had a Philadelphia Phillies license cover on the front. Go figure. Suckaaaaahhhhs. The people were fine so I can make a bit of light of it.

This one cabbie got got twice. He was about to pick up someone on the corner of 3rd and 25th when he got vultured by a cabbie that came in from the right and cut him off nasty. Then right on the next corner I picked up the person who he might have had a chance to get (the emo Chinaboy) if that pick wasn’t set. 0 for 2 like Shaq at the free throw line.

I thought JFK’s bathroom was nasty as fuck…at least they have a bathroom. At LaGuardia’s Central Taxi Hold…they have a porter potty. At JFK they have 3 of them but no one uses them.

The sad news of the day for me was while I was droppin off my last customer of the evening from LaGuardia…I learned that my beloved Nevada Smith’s was raided & shut down by the cops. I see the court order papers posted and shit. The crime: “Illegal sale of alcohol beverages.” Weak.

Next shift: Thursday beginning at 430pm EDT. I’ll have another post up tomorrow where if you wanna know why (most) cabbies are always on edge…now you’ll at least have a better idea. And so on.

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1 Response to “DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/23/10).”


  1. 1 M. Wright
    March 24, 2010 at 7:04 am

    “They had like 4-5 bags of shit they bought and I can’t even get an extra penny for a tip eff yo muh fuh plastic couches. Maybe she was usin one of those Rush Prepaid Cards I don’t know.”

    *envisioning Rush in that commercial with his friggin’ Father Flanagan voice and Chelsea Boy clothing and DYING*


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