DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/26/10).

High-pressure Fridays.  For me, these days are the most unpredictable because although people do go out…this is more of the natives’ night out.  Bridge & Tunnel night is tomorrow night and that is a guaranteed mess but anyhow:

The sleepyhead: This chink gets on at 46th and Park and is going to Worth Street between Broadway and Lafayette.  Now check it, I understand it’s a longish ride (it came out to almost $14) and if you want to catch a quick ZZZ that’s all good but your ass better be awake by the time I pull to your stop.  I don’t wanna have to scream “YO!” ha.  And don’t fool me muh fucka you were NOT meditating.

Why I pick up hood-lookin folk: These spanish dudes get in my cab on 85th and Broadway.  Now by the way they were dressed & shit you’d think that they’d be the typical cats that would go somewhere deep and then pay but barely tip.  They were headed to SoHo Billiards on Houston and Mulberry which is pretty damn far ($15).  On the way there we see this crackhead I think he was scratchin his belly & dancin or some shit I don’t know.  Clayton Biggums woulda lost a danceoff with this fool.  I overhear one of the fellas in the cab talk about gettin into a fight at Starbucks with a 60 year old big black dude.  Shades of the “Ambalamps” youtube pop in my head but I ain’t sayin nothin ha.  I get there blastin Funk Flex of course (per request) and my tip on the credit card is…$5.10.  Whoa.  Then the dude gives me an additional $4.  “Best cab driver in the city” is what him & his boys tell me.  Ha.

Buck the Trend: These black folk tipped me $2 on an $8 ride.

I can’t hear you:  “6th street between Avenue C and D” is what I thought I heard.  What she claims to have said, “6th street between Avenue C and B.”  Miss, your ABC’s are wrong.  But I let it slide because she tipped $4 on a $16.

Only in Manhattan:  A dude in a black bow-tie and his fiancee (I’m guessing because she had mentioned “you’re about to get married to me”) dressed up hella nice to go to the Waldrof-Astoria, yet gettin in a yellow cab.  As did quite a few other people.  Remind me next time to have a spare roll of red carpet in the trunk.  She reeked of golddigger status though.

You snooze you lose:  These Indian ppl were about to get in my cab but they were waiting for one of the women’s husbands to come from across the street.  He was trying to hail a cab too.  These two asian chicks ask if I’m free and I say well…um yeah yall ready?  Peel off.  Time is money.  Did I feel bad?  For 2.8 seconds.  2.8 seconds is an eternity in basketball but in this concrete jungle…it don’t mean shit.

Spot of the Day:  This dude who I found out went to NYU also told me about Crocodile Lounge (14th between 1st and 2nd ave) and supposedly if you buy a $4 beer…you get a free mini-pizza.  I don’t know how much truth there is to this, though.  He claims it’s all day everyday.

Question of the Day:  This dude talks about how he owns a cat.  What dude do you know that owns a cat?  He says that being a cat owner seems to be a turn-off for most girls because they prefer dogs.  My question is whether this is Fact or Fiction.

DK’s Bordello:  This black chick & white dude with an intense makeout session.  I couldn’t have cared less.  GO GET EM WHITEY!  Their friend was sitting in the front and he decided since I took the Times Square route to where they needed to go to take his camera out & snap photos.  He’s from Pennsylvania so I told him the story about the guy there that tried reviving a possum on the road.  Then we passed Madison Square Garden.  He asked me if that’s a place where they have gardens & plants and whatnot.  I am not joking.  He was not joking either.  He said he doesn’t follow sports which pretty much cut the convo.

Biting my tongue:  I picked up this chick and I told her the LES area is a hot mess.  Yeah, that whole Essex/Ludlow/Stanton/Rivington hodgepodge.  She was upset about how they try to act all exclusive and rude and she didn’t like that shit.  Word to that.  Then she started talkin about political shit & the healthcare bill.  NOOOOO!  See, my thing is that after watching The Obama Deception that shit opened my eyes to a TON of stuff…but I had to let her rock the convo and besides…POLITICS AT 1AM ON A FRIDAY NIGHT??  I’m good.  Sweet girl yes but just the wrong time.

Really?:  I wonder what possesses people to take cabs from East Village to Sunset Park out in Brooklyn ($27) but if it comes in my pocket…whatever.  And I wouldn’t trust the subways either at 230AM.

Clutch moments in passenger history:
Me- 88th and Riverside?  Yall want to take the RFK Bridge or the Queensboro?
Passenger- I find the RFK to usually be quicker.
*30 minutes later*

Smart man.

Somewhat of a disappointin evening in regards to entertainment but that should change tomorrow night beginning at 415pm EDT.  And so on


3 Responses to “DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/26/10).”

  1. 1 bob
    March 27, 2010 at 11:08 am

    the pizza and beer thing is true

  2. 2 Eva
    April 6, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    Hello, your buddy Mike referred me to your site. I got picked up by a cabbie near the Lincoln square Apple store. He was dancing, I mean he let go of the steering wheel to put his hands in the air “for his bitch lady gaga”. I asked him if he knew a guy named Michael (last name). He smiled. My boyfriend hit my arm to tell me to stop, my friend looked at me puzzled. I was just trying to find you. HA. Whenever I take a cab in NYC I’m just going to ask the same question each time lol

    Hey I got a question for u…how come Cabbies don’t like driving to the BX? If I’m out in the city and try to hail a cab to the BX they usually refuse. It’s like a 20 min drive…and I tip!

    BTW your chronicles sound like my bartending days. College students tip the worst. My best tippers were Indian dudes drinking Black all night.

    Funny blog. Oh and the youngin nigga fest on Easter…there were four shootings. Idiots were leaving the Auto show @ the Javitz…they decided it was a good night for gang initiations. I’m a teacher, so you know, I’m not looking forward to seeing them in school tomorrow. But its supposed to be 80 which means they will all go to a Cypher instead. HAHA

  3. April 7, 2010 at 2:41 am

    haha good luck in your search of finding me.

    most cabbies hate the bronx because it’s the most confusing boro and most intimidating boro. i’ll get more into this in a later entry though.

    yeah I just learned about what actually happened. gang initiations on Easter…ironic much?

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