DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/28/10).

Today was atypical from my normal routine.  I did get a late start certainly (I got to JFK at 5:15pm) but it was atypical in that I only had three trips the entire shift.  They were all JFK trips as well and the terminals I went to were…1, 2 and 3 though not in that order.  The trips in themselves were snoozefests I’d rather watch Bob Ross’ “The Joy of Painting” including watchin his paint dry than get into those so I’m gonna do something a bit different:

Only thing worth a damn: My first trip the Spanish (Spain-ish) couple were goin to Manhattan on Washington Street & 13th street…but the dispatcher gave me one of those “shortie” tickets anyway.  So after dropping them off I rushed back to JFK…only for that shit to be balls to the wall packed.  Kinda like Webster Hall’s hip hop room minus the smell of wet pussy & human gas emissions.  I didn’t make it within the 90 minutes so I was initially hella tight; but they took it anyway given the massive volume just to get inside the lot.  Full of win.

License plate of the day: “XBADBOYX” on some yellow race car type joint.  That kinda shit I thought was reserved for 13-17 year old kids and their AIM screennames?  I mean, I’m a Toys R Us kid too but that is pathetic I’m sorry.

Store of the day:  Although this was last night I didn’t get to mention this.  When I dropped of this Asian broad in Prospect Park, on 495 Flatbush Avenue there’s a store called Phat Albert Warehouse.  I wish I was not jokin.  Google it for yourself because I have nothing further to add.  I didn’t come here to talk about the past.

Why do people:  Hold on to the straps for dear life in the back of my cab sometimes?  I don’t get it, you’re sitting down.  This ain’t the subway nor a ride on 6 flags.  Or are you practicing this for bedroom purposes?  DK, calm down.  Anyway this has flummoxed me so if someone can answer this concisely I will appreciate it.

One of these days I want to:  When you hail a cab you usually do so by having your arm up in the air as if you’re a 12 year old chick tryin to touch Justin Bieber and be One Less Lonely Girl.  Some people hail like bitches but that’s not the premise of this.  Anyway I feel like one night just drivin past someone who hails for a cab and slappin them back a High Five.  This probably won’t work though if I’m doin 20mph+ or so.

My three favorite radio personalities that come on: DJ Kay Slay (Sundays 9-10pm, Thursdays Midnight-2am, the last Saturday of every month Midnight-4am); Real Talk w/ Peter Rosenberg (Sundays Midnight-2am) and DJ Mister Cee (though i usually don’t catch him).  Funkmaster Flex talks way too much ha but the Caucasian Nation loves what he spins when he actually does shut up.

I’m off on Mondays so no actual chronicles…though I do have something cooked up for yall anyway so don’t fret.  And so on.


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