DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/31/10).

My first ever Wednesday driving.  Typically I work Tuesdays, Thursdays thru Sundays but every now and then I’ll work a Wednesday so I can go out on a Thursday or some shit.  I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of activity there is on the streets on Wednesdays.   With it being a hump day…I’m sure that means intelligence is at a high on Wednesdays…before it goes downhill this weekend like it always does.  Of course you’ll have a few exceptions here and there.

My first passengers of the day were headin towards 77th between York and 1st ave.  They thought it’d be cool to take pictures within the cab.  It’s one of my pet peeves…I don’t understand what’s so exciting about sittin in a car.  And it’s not like you were taking these pictures in Manhattan…you were on the fuckin Van Wyck.  I even think the woman took a picture  of my cab meter.  I’m not joking because she stuck the camera right there & CLICK.   Only in New York.  The guy gave me the weirdest tip too- $5.55.

The 2nd person confused the shit out of me because he was joggin in the street…and then he stuck his hand out.  I figured he was just stretchin his arm so I kept it movin, turned and picked up this blonde (of course) cougar.  Come to find out he actually was gettin in a cab.  He was in jogging gear though so I woulda had NO clue.

I picked up three blondes in a row which had to be a record.  None of them talked to me though fuck my life.

The last blonde looked like she was sixteen though.  She crossed the street, deliberately slow at my cab on a green light and then just raised her hand like she wanted to get the teacher’s final scratch & sniff sticker.  She gets in with her tiny ass rollaway and tells me to take her to JFK.  Clutch.  I didn’t know United Airlines still existed I thought it had went bankrupt but it looks like they are alive & well.

On my way back into Manhattan with this family from Spain (whom by the way gave me $60); I’m on the Grand Central Parkway and I see a NY license plate that says “BABYGIRL”.  Most of those license plates are hella retarded anyhow and I’m thinkin to myself that it’s a red coupe and some chick is probably driving.  APRIL FOOLS!  It’s this dude who’s drivin the shit…and his boy is on the passenger side!  Their windows were hella tinted but rolled down halfway.  All I could do to be honest is shake my head.  There’s NOTHIN you can do to get yourself out of that one only The Man Upstairs can help you.  At least Lil Wayne was stuntin like his daddy.  Them?  Stuntin like your…..

One of my last passengers of the night were these 2 Long Island broads who I picked up around 7th avenue South.  I had to pull one of those crazy pull-in maneuvers because I was being blocked by 2 cabs.  “Oh my God you almost killed us heh heh heh.”  Shut the fuck up I wasn’t THAT close to hitting you I was a good yard away from doing so.  Anyhow they were going to Penn Station and I overhear them discussin how expensive their dinner was…
You would think they had like a 3-4 course meal or some shit and maybe some alcohol because that’s what us 21-30 year olds do.
“A shrimp cocktail & a salad”
They spent $24 on that.  Really??  You know what I could order for $24?  I can get myself an effin T-Bone Steak, eggs & Welch’s grape.  A salad…SMFH.  Probably Washington Square Park leaves with the tomatoes McDonald’s didn’t want to use or some shit.  Then they were talkin about how bottles of wine kept coming to their table…therefore they had to pay $80ish.  No comment.  Then they get out of the cab and the blonde can’t push & pull the door closed and then she says “I give up.”  Her friend comes to close the door.  Long Island FailRoad.

Those were the only interesting things today.  Next episode Friday at 5pm EDT.  Also check out the poll question.  And so on.


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