Talk Is Cheap (DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicle Special).

You know…I figured one of these days a situation like this was gonna happen.  However, I didn’t figure it to be so soon nor for it to be over something so trivial (at least in my humble opinion).

I had just finished droppin off these drunk as fuck people around my age at Hudson & Christopher Streets.  While they somewhat annoyed me complaining about the immense traffic on the East Side…it always finds a way to work itself out.  Now I’m going up Hudson because I figure that I stand a much better chance of picking up passengers from an uptown-facing street than a downtown-facing one at 1230.  I miss a light and I’m the only cabbie on that block with his medallion light on so there were a bevy of people looking to hail one.  Out comes this dude and his two friends (one guy one woman) and they pointed at me.  I actually pointed back at them and told them in essence that I was available.  The dude with the rollaway tells me to turn the volume down so I turn the back speakers off.   Then he tells me they’re all going to 89th and Amsterdam.  Okay fine.

I’m cruising up Hudson (which becomes 8th avenue) and everything is how it usually is.  My customers are yakkin it up to each other, I’m focused on the road & zoning to my music aight cool.  We get to the roundabout at Columbus Circle and this is where it can get a bit confusing:
– All that was in my head at the time was dude tellin me 89th and Amsterdam…so my natural impulse was to take the roundabout to Broadway which would then turn into Amsterdam & I would drop them off on the corner, call it a day.
– On occasion the customer would rather go up Central Park West and then cut across the street…which now having time to think about it is what he wanted to do; given that 89th street goes west.  Perhaps he lived between Columbus and Amsterdam.


Here’s the thing.  I did not hear him ONCE say take Central Park West.  If he did, he wasn’t all too audible.  When you’re in a five-seater van and you’re sitting all the way in the back…the sound from the front is not as good.  Remember I have a 90% soundproof partition so unless you SPEAK UP like you finally decided to start doing after the fact…then I’m not gonna hear you.  I told him I didn’t hear him and that was my mistake (which I told him about twice or three times) but he kept going…”MAYBE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE RADIO SO LOUD…”

My radio out of a 60 volume was at a 20.  It was loud enough so obviously I could listen to it but also it was loud enough for me to hear people speaking behind me and for any hazards that I encounter on the road.  He told me to turn the radio OFF for the rest of the ride.  Alright, whatever fine.  Other than the dude who told me to briefly turn it off because of his girlfriend…this was a first.  What are you, my fuckin surrogate dad?  God forbid that.  I told him that my thought was since you wanted 89th and Amsterdam was to take Broadway all the way until it turned into Amsterdam.  He said he knew that but he wanted me to take Central Park West…

What I did next probably wasn’t the smartest thing…but if you’re gonna try and test me like that, I’ll give you what you want.  You are the passenger, if you want to go a certain way I’ll go there.  I’m at 64th street and since he wanted to so badly go up Central Park West I made a right and he asked me “Wait where are you going?” I told him “You wanted to go up Central Park West right?”  He told me to keep going where I was going but I was like “No, you wanted to go up Central Park West so that’s what we’re gonna do.”  I won’t front I was being fairly sarcastic.  Then the Funk Flex Bomb went off.


Probably the best part of the entire ride.  He goes off on me talking about how I’m a piece of work (I guess it’s the ritzy way of callin me a piece of shit but hey I’m Niggcasso) and that I’m this fuckup or whatever.  Then he goes on ranting about how he’s gonna take my License & Medallion numbers down, kissing his ass and for me to go fuck myself.  I told him “Nah I’m good thanks.  Feel free to hop out if you want, doesn’t bother me.”  Then he kept mutterin and mutterin like the grade A faggot he was.  I basically let him dig himself into the ground continuing to slander me.  My heart was racing and I was fuming…but not showing this because to be fair, it wouldn’t have been fair to the other two customers he was with.  Of course the dude doesn’t close my door but I had to pull over anyway.  I notice that he put one of my chairs down (certainly it was deliberate).  I was mainly in disbelief though.  How much sand crawled up your vagina that quickly dear God that must have been a Guinness Book of World Record.

I’m gonna assume that he was just poppin off at the mouth to threaten me and when the dust settles him trying to report me over something this trivial will come to pass.  See me in court?  Really?  However, what exactly are you gonna report me for?  I didn’t curse in his direction one time; I did what he asked me to do (although in a snide way) and I even let him bombard me with white boy disses from 6th grade.  How old are you?  Aren’t you a man?  Aren’t you 40?

I’ve made mistakes before with directions.  Every cab driver has I’m sure.  He doesn’t know that I’ve only been driving for less than two months.  When I’ve made a mistake sometimes the customer gets upset but not to the point where they gotta act as if I had sex with your wife.  Although in his case it’d be a shame if he had a wife honestly, if he’s even on that team.  I’ll admit I’m at fault for having my radio on but really?  I’ve never NOT had my radio on and had this problem before until tonight.  And the right thing for me to do would have been to continue taking Broadway until it became Amsterdam and either just dropped them at the corner & made them walk OR take it up to 90th street and come around to 89th.  Neither things are big deals.  Also what could have set dude off was that there was a garbage truck on 64th ha but that’s unlikely.  Either way I probably wouldn’t have gotten tipped but that would have been okay.  I’m sure with the PMS he had he probably still would have had something snide to say when he got out…just like all bitchasses do.  But I let him have his cake.

When I’ve made mistakes with directions I allow for the customer to take off a dollar from the fare or a tip.  Hell, I’ve done this a couple of times.  They pay and get out God Bless & Goodnight.  To be fair, I wouldn’t have turned on 64th street if he wasn’t barking so much.

This proves you that people in society are scary fuckers.  Blowing up at the most trivial shit.  I would have understood a whole lot more if I had missed an important exit off the highway than an avenue.  A fuckin avenue?  REALLY??  If I had missed say the Henry Hudson Exit off of 95 and got on the GWB instead…that’s a HUGE HUGE mistake.  But an avenue??  Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It also goes to show that there’s no greater power than the power of one.  I could have hella passengers compliment my driving/attitude…but all it takes is that one grade A jackass to believe otherwise and now your entire shit can be questioned.

Ultimately though like my dad said…shit like that is inevitable.  Take it in stride…but it’s hard for me to do that it really is.  I dwelled upon it for quite a while…until I vented and then later picked up these meatheads wantin to go to the strip club.  More on that in a doubleheader with Sunday’s chronicles on Monday.  Until then…and so on.


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