DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 4/10/10 & 4/11/10).

Aside from Sir Grade A Jackass…your weekend warriors were up to their usual antics.  It’s kinda hard to focus on what happened when you have such a situation like that but hey.

Place I’ve never heard of in my life: ACE Hotel (29th and Broadway).  These foreigners get in my cab at the JetBlue Terminal and requested a van.  Looks like I’m the “lucky” one.  They tell me some shit about Ace Hotel & I’m lookin for this shit in my book…but it’s not there.  Where is it at?  “29th street” Hmm.  29th and what?  “I dunno I just kno 29th street”.  No itinerary, nothing?  “No didn’t bring it.” SMFH.  I mean it’s not that big of a deal for me to keep going across 29th street but still.  Ultimately they call the hotel and tell me it’s on Broadway.

The typical Bridge & Tunnel: Right before the Incident, I pick up this group of five from Delancey & Orchard that tell me “WEST VILLAGE!” Um..okay I need cross streets.  “Hudson & Christopher.”  Now anyone familiar with the Lower East Side on a Saturday night knows how congested traffic is around that area..an epic disaster.  “Why is this traffic not goin anywhereeee?” I feel you but fuckin Bowery..”If this traffic is gonna be like this some of us are gonna have to get out.” I tell them that I’m not God and if I had a Helicopter Taxi it’d be a Reynolds Wrap ha.  Once you get past Lafayette & Houston it’s smooth sailing but that was a mess.  The guy sitting in front was tellin me about some show on HBO, what was it, “How to Make It In America” I think and quoting it. Blastin Hot 97 at a 45+ volume SMFH my ears were bleeding.  Afterwards some guy with his girlfriend that was in the cab knocked on my window & I rolled it down so he can give me dap.  I told him I’m the best at what I do with a Kanye Shrug.  Foreshadowing for the Incident perhaps ha?

Right after The Incident I picked up this lady who was going to 122nd and Amsterdam.  Coincidence?  Probably not.  I was actually planning on going back downtown which was why I was pretty surprised I got hailed down at 62nd between CPW & Broadway.  I haven’t had time yet to calm completely down so I was taking deep breaths throughout the entire ride.  Finally when I got to her place she asked me if I was African or Haitian.  Hmmmm.  I told her I’m of Haitian descent but I was born here.  Ethnicity piques people’s interest sometimes.

I do hate though when people take me hella far uptown on a Saturday night and I have to drive back down almost 100 blocks to pick up someone else.

I picked up a dude and his girlfriend on 7th avenue around 23rd street and they were going…to Amsterdam and 81st street.  WHAT THE FUCK lmfao.  I don’t know how we got to talking but I told him about what just transpired a few moments ago and of course he told me that there are assholes like that.  He then asked me which job is tougher…that of a cop or that of a taxi driver….
Don’t get it twisted…cops put their lives on the line on a daily basis.  However, on a prestige level there is absolutely no comparison.  Try being asked by a chick what I am and her response if I tell her I’m a cop vs. that of a cab driver.  Enough said.  Cops get benefits, get half-pay after 20 years when they retire.  Cabbies have none of that.  I could go on.
He was a good kid who entertained me and got me to calm down & laugh about the scenario.

These three B&T guidos get in my cab lookin for a strip club to go to “bro” so I take em to Lace’s Gentlemen’s Club on 43rd and 8th avenues.  They were also lookin for a McDonalds so they got a 2-for-1 special on that.  They tried to get me to wait for them to get their food and go to New York Dolls on 52nd and Broadway but it wasn’t meant to be.  Moves had to be made.

My last passengers of Saturday night were an unmitigated disaster.  53rd and 2nd and then…take the FDR Drive.  Where the hell am I goin?? “Yonkers”  YEZZIRRRR.  I hop on the Deegan and then for some odd reason they tell me to go right towards 95.  They thought 95 was the Deegan.  Whatever they say though, right ha?  “Oh shit my bad my bad fuck…take 95…Bronx River Parkway..north.”  The rest of the directions weren’t too bad.  Neither was the $62.70 fare.  Until I only got a $2.30 tip.

Sunday night is a waste of time to blog about.  It really is.

And so on.


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