DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 5/6/10).

Normally it’d be a Long-Haul Thursday but I got fortunate this time.  I did go to Brooklyn twice sure, but I didn’t have to waste much gas as I typically do on a Thursday.  Plus it was a strange day because EVERYBODY seemed to be out..until 1230 and then it was like a mass exodus back home.

People seemed to have confusion with directions…or they weren’t all that specific:

Example 1-
Me: Where to?
Girl: Midtown.
Me: Hmm okay.  Where Midtown?
Girl: Anywhere near Penn Station.
Me: So Penn Station then?
Girl: Sounds good.

Example 2-
Blonde: Church and West Broadway
Me: They run parallel but don’t intersect.
Blonde: Ohh sorry, Church & Chambers Street.
(3 minutes later)
Blonde: No it’s not that either I meant Church & Walker.

Example 3-
Girl: Washington Street & 13th Street
(while on Broadway & 66th near Lincoln Center)
Girl: Are you gonna take the West Side Highway
Me: No, I can take 9th avenue all the way straight down
Girl: Nevermind forget it it’s too late now.
(a minute later)
Girl: Can you stop at 48th and Broadway actually?
My Brain: And this broad wanted me to go further west SMFH.
(when over there)
Girl: Cross the street I think I see him.

Sidenote- What is with yall and the West Side Highway?  It’s really not that much faster than the avenues south of 59th street.  How does a so-called highway have lights (which by the way aren’t even synchronized) and it’ll cost more to go there and then curl back around (in some cases).

Example 4-
Dude: 41st and 1st avenue.
(I get there and around there it cuts in half because of the 1st Avenue Tunnel & I’m on the right side)
Dude: It’s actually on the left side.
DK’s Brain: How the fuck am I gonna get to the left side?
Me: You shoulda told me earlier ha. (Yes I really did say ha in case you’re wondering)
Dude: It’s all good he’ll get off here.

I was on Centre & Canal Streets and this black dude knocks on my window.  I don’t like that shit ha.  He asks if I could take him to Brooklyn and I wasn’t really feelin that but I’d do it anyhow.  Turns out I’m goin to Crown Heights.  Fuck.  His sister gets in the cab with these bags which sorta stink.  I can’t explain it really unless you’ve been to shops in Chinatown and they have this Asian musty smell to them?  Almost as if it’s fish but not so?  Whatever.  They gave me $20 and told me to keep the change.  I was honestly shocked.

The same blonde that gave me 3 directions was really the only one to talk to me.  “Beautiful weather today huh?” Yeah it’s not when you have to drive in it instead of actually enjoyin it SMH but conversations about weather bore me.  I coulda went further but businessman DK took over.

I went to 13th street & Washington Street 3 times yesterday in a 2 hour span.  I don’t know what was goin on there?  But the last time I drove past, this dude & I’m assuming his girlfriend get in the cab and are goin to this hotel on 6th avenue and 54th street.  At one point the chick told me to pull over around 24th street because her man was actin like a dick in her personal opinion.  She was all over this guy.  They were arguing over somethin.  I coulda cared less.  They made up and then I continued on my way.  It then seemed like somethin out of Bollywood the broad gets on his lap and they begin makin out and probably dry humpin.  The fuckin bordello is back.  Maybe she even let him motorboat her who knows.  She was pretty hot though.  Kinda reminded me of Slumdog Millionaire with the doofy boy and the hella pretty chick.  Maybe they were the actual cast members?  They were still havin their pre-sex in the champange room ritual when I told them they were at their stop.  Get out.  OUT!

How you gonna hail a cab and then when I stop by you you shrug me off?

I took a break from my shift at 1215 to grab some food and take a piss at a bar.  Or so I thought.  I get to my bar Nevada Smith’s and a couple of my boys are there so I figure to say what’s good to em & whatever.  Out comes this thick Puerto Rican woman.
Now I was told that she was 42 and is a GRANDMOTHER.
She introduces herself to me as a 42 year old grandmother who is married with I believe four kids and a grand-daughter.  But the dude she’s married to has been in jail.  Go figure.  Not only that, but her hella upfrontness tells me she ain’t have sex in SIX YEARS.
And to think that some of these chicks I talk to bitch about dry spells that are “2 months omg” How about STFU.
Long story short she asks me out on a date to a southern restaurant.  Me?  What I do???  She gives me her numbers…but here’s the confounding part.  Both the numbers she gives me are her daughter’s cell phones; her herself she doesn’t have her own.  Her reasoning?  She pays for the phones.  Whatever that means?

Should I do it?  Probably not.  The whole phone business thing threw me off.  You have a ring on it, I don’t.  The whole situation was just weird.  She’s got a big heart, but I can tell she’s lookin to be loved but you’re married with kids AND a grand-kid and if you’re gonna tell me you’re no longer in love with your husband…I don’t wanna get caught up in all that (potentially).

A good Thursday overall.  Today’s episode begins at 530pm EDT.  And so on.


1 Response to “DK’s Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 5/6/10).”

  1. May 7, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    You know her husband is gonna shank your ass when he gets out, right?

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