DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 5/27/10).

After taking a nap, I admittedly was grumpy wakin up at 5 and leaving from there to go to the airport; where I waited for an hour before being sent to my favorite terminal- Terminal 7 to pick up a chick who was heading to Wall & Water streets.

Her: Hi how are you?
Me: I’m good. Y..
Her: Good, thanks.
DK’s Brain: She likes to get to the point, I could work with that at a later time.

She tells me some shit about how I look like Rupert Bond from The Wire since I’m lookin hella gruffy right now.  Except for the fact I’m prob 100 pounds heavier than him SMFH.  She tells me it’s a compliment.  I’m not 100% sure of this but I never heard someone say I look like him before.  I wish I’ve seen more of The Wire because that woulda been the ultimate icebreaker.  Nevertheless she pays me without tippin on the credit card..but gives me a $10 in cash.  The lack of tipping would be a recurring theme.  I don’t know if it’s because I was grumpy and the passengers sensed it..or if I just picked up shitty passengers but damn.

I had my fellow black people on my shit-list in terms of tipping and yesterday I almost felt like a gypsy cab because after I had a lady go from 57th and 10th avenue to 119th and 3rd (and tip $1 on a $13 ride)- I just kept getting them.
– This lady & her daughter hailed me on 125th and Amsterdam but I was off-duty because I wanted to go down Broadway.  Plus I was still disappointed.
– I pick up a black dude goin to 118th and 3rd on 115th and Broadway.  He actually tipped the best of the bunch ($2 on a $10.70 fare).
– This larger gentleman gets in my cab at 119th and 3rd.  I wasn’t gonna pick him up originally but I decided to put him to the test.  He’s goin to the 125th street 4-5-6 subway station and he bitches about the Taxi TV & that it’s just another way for the TLC to get over on people.  He asks me if the driver gets a cut of anything and I tell him no..which disappoints him.  His fare is $4.30 and he only gives me $4.  Hypocrite ha.
– Later on that night I was headin down Broadway in the 60s when Sex & The City 2 JUST finishes so a gaggle of women of course do too..lookin for cabs.  There’s a mad cabbie scramble and even though I get there second- the cab I was right behind doesn’t move and other cabs go around me.  I’m left with a black chick goin uptown to 117th and 2nd avenue.  $13.50 with a 50 cent tip which quite honestly I only got because she was under the impression I had no quarters.  By the way, she was my final passenger of the night- I was entirely too frustrated.

So for the umpteenth my fellow brothas & sistas…this is why cabbies don’t wanna pick yall up.  It’s not because yall are goin up to Harlem/Washington Heights (I had a white dude I picked up on 124th and Broadway, took to 163rd & Broadway and he tipped $2.70 on a $8.30 fare)…but it’s because your tippin etiquette is still severely lacking.  I will admit, it may have to do that they’re so used to taking gypsy cabs so they just negotiate a fare with them but cot damn.

I was jokin to myself that I’d go to 145th and Broadway.  For some reason I wanted to go there ha, mainly because I’d been rappin Dipset.  I pick up these spanish kids coming back from some prom function lookin to go to an afterparty so they’re goin…to 145th and Broadway.  Oh the irony.  They asked me how much it would cost and they were shocked that it was only $20 ($19.90)…they figured it was gonna be $70 in a gypsy.  It may sound hypocritical but I don’t really expect 17-18 year olds to know how to tip so I let them off the hook.

I decide to take a timeout and go to the McDonalds on 145th and Broadway.  I’m usin my mobile web (yes I don’t have a Blackberry or iPhone or Droid don’t judge me) and this dude sees me walkin up and steps in my way.
Him: Excuse me do you have a second?
DK’s Brain: Are you fuckin kidding?
Me: No (walks off).
Him: (steps closer to me) Please I need your help my name is (I forgot what) I live in a government-funded apartment (or some shit like that) with my wife & kid. I don’t have much money and I just want somethin to eat from here.
(I’m at a Halal stand)
Me: Here’s a dollar dawg.
Him: (gives me an incredulous look)
DK’s Brain: What more do you want nigga?  You dressed as poor as me.
(he’s wearin a black tee, shorts & sneakers- I’m wearin a white tee, baggy jeans & sneakers..I KNOW dude is lying out his ass but I had a feeling that if I didn’t help him out, he’d come after me so)
Him: Like a chicken gyro, lamb & rice.  You can buy it for me I don’t even want the money.
DK’s Brain: You got it all planned out huh??
Me: Ask him how much a chicken gyro cost.
(It’s $5)
Me: Take a $5.  Just buy it for yourself.  And that dollar, keep it too.
DK’s Brain: Just got robbed with kindness.  But fuck it, give credit where it’s due.
Him: I appreciate it so much.
DK’s Brain: Shut the fuck up.  DK, you’re an idiot.  But karma ultimately will decide everything.

Oh well.  That’s all the time we have for today.  And so on.


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