Archive for June, 2010


DK’s Brain- NYC Taxi Protection Act.

It’s been a very uneventful past couple of shifts, with the majority of my trips being from airports & with lames.  I had to school some tourists from Austrailia that the Meatpacking District is NOT a place to go if you’re trying to get trashed…unless you have the $$$$ to get white boy wasted for $95.  They wanted to find an Irish Pub there ha.  With that said…

On Friday, June 25th at about 4:30pm, in a unanimous vote—60 Yes, 0 No—the NYS Senate passed the Taxi Driver Protection Act sponsored by Senator Eric Adams. The Assembly passed the same bill, sponsored by Assemblyman Rory Lancman, on Tuesday, June 22nd in a vote of 141 to 1. The Taxi Driver Protection Act increases the penalties on assaults against taxicab, black car, and livery drivers and requires a sticker in every taxicab: “WARNING: Assaulting A Taxi Driver Is Punishable By Up To Twenty-Five Years In Prison.” On misdemeanor assaults which carry maximum one year prison, the penalty will increase to a mandatory two year prison term if the victim is a driver. On felony assaults, there will be a penalty enhancement of five additional years to the term if the victim is a driver. The bill now goes to the Governor for signing. Within ten days, the bill will become law.

In other words, by the July 4th weekend this law will officially go into effect.  What it means for you?  You can talk tough..but unless you wanna be in the pen sharing showers (copyright- Lil Wayne) you can’t do tough things..except tweet about how you had a dream that you fucked up the cab driver if he (or she- yes there are about 150 female cabbies in the city) was gettin you mad.  What it means for me?  It gives me an extra layer of protection since by law a cab driver cannot carry any weapons (bats, knives, etc) in the cab even if used as self-defense.  This law is especially good for the livery/gypsy cab drivers though because they’re the ones who do the most traveling in the more dangerous neighborhoods of the city; not to mention they don’t have the partition yellow cabs have.  One of the riskiest jobs in the nation just got a bit safer and now we’re on the level of protection comparable to that of MTA bus drivers/conductors.  I’m surprised it took this long for this to even be considered a law but hey, the timing couldn’t be better considering we’re now in summertime..where skirts are short but tempers are shorter.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Jekyll & Hyde).

Friday night had a strange feel to it overall because there weren’t as many cabs out there as it seemed to be.  A lot of people were waiting for cabs for a good 15-20 minutes.  That’s good for me though because that means more money.  This couple that got in though were on some strange shit:

I was around the Meatpacking District heading east on Horatio Street where I spot these 2 girls put their arms up in the air hailing for a cab.  All well & good but then suddenly this other chick cuts them off claimin she had been waiting for a cab first and make the other 2 chicks back off.  All in the while, I’m tryin to ask her if she wants me to turn or go straight.  She hops in with her boyfriend and I’m laughin my ass off at that display of feminine bitchality.  Yeah I made that up.  The couple are gonna make their way over to Broadway & Park Row and the boyfriend tells her that it wasn’t that serious doing all of that.  She tells him she doesn’t give a fuck whether or not they saw the cab first because she had been there first.  I’m dying.  “It’s common courtesy” she says.

My thoughts on this is simple: I could give a fuck less as the driver because yall squabbling over me isn’t my problem.  In fact it’s pretty flattering; wish I could say the same about my datin game but that’s neither here nor there.  I’m gonna C money from either A or B so yall can play musical chairs, whoever gets in gets in but yall really should have common courtesy.  If I see a chick hailing a cab tryin to get home and say 2-3 dudes try to get in front of her…while I take that as being drunk/obnoxious and can let that slide; that still ain’t being a gentleman.

Since they were in the West Village, my brain was wired to go one of two ways.  Even though the entire time I was thinking of taking Greenwich Ave down to 8th street; cutting across & hitting Broadway…I also sort of thought of taking 7th Avenue South down also (which turns into Varick Street & then West Broadway) but by the time that thought took shape I had already passed it.  Reason why I should have done the latter is because it would have been a bit shorter and I wouldn’t have had to cut through two streets (rather than just one)..hence 40 cents extra.  The dude suddenly becomes the one who gets mad.
“Why are you taking the long way?”
Me: I thought of takin 7th ave down but I forgot..honest mistake.
Him: Maybe I’ll forget to leave you a tip then.  You know you did that on purpose.
Me: Why would I want to take the long way on purpose when it wastes not only your time but mine?  It was unintentional.
Him: Yeah okay, I guess I’ll unintentionally leave no tip.
Girl: Oh just stop it.
Him: No, maybe this will teach him a lesson to not make this mistake again.  What are you gonna do, give him a tip?  Then he’ll keep doing the same thing…they have to learn the hard way.
DK’s Brain: Shut the fuck up we’re on Broadway right now.
Girl: He made an honest mistake…
Him: NO! He did it on purpose he knew he should have went down 7th but he said that he had forgotten.  That’s his fault, he’s not doing his job right.
DK’s Brain: Uhh, cab drivers just like every other person in their respective professions makes a minor mistake once in a while.
Him: How long you’ve been driving for?
Me: 4 months.
Him (to Her): See, he’s a novice.  That’s why you have to teach him a lesson & not tip him.
Me: You know, if it’s that serious you ain’t gotta tip me..I really don’t care..
DK’s Brain: I will slap the white outta you & give you reverse Michael Jackson.

They kept arguing over this slight mistake that I did.  She thought I wasn’t trying to do it on purpose & that he shouldn’t take it so seriously (which she was 100% right about) while he thought that I was just another cabbie trying to rip someone off.  Really guy?  Over forty cents?  If I REALLY wanted to take the longer way I would have done it & done so deliberately but why would I want to?  It takes away from tips so it defeats the purpose (no pun intended).

I drop em off, she pays me $13 (it was $11.10) and I turn around to explain to them what had happened in a calm voice:
Me: Look, when I went across Greenwich I had thought about turning 7th and I should have because it merges & it would have made your trip a bit less expensive but I honestly had a brain freeze so by the time I realized it, it was too late for me to turn around.  Honest mistake & I apologize.
Him: Hey, it’s okay you got us home safely & that’s all that matters.  Thank you for your honesty.

Oh the irony.  DK-1 Me having a Nigga Moment- 0 (FINAL).  And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 6/24/10).

Long Haul Thursdays were all about the Things That Make You Go Hmm factor.

1) Lady- You think I’ll make my 7pm dinner reservation (in Midtown)?
(I’m on the Van Wyck Expressway rush hour traffic at 6:15pm AND she has to check in to her hotel in SoHo).
Me- No. To be perfectly honest you’ll get to your hotel at around 7:15.
Lady- My flight was delayed about two hours due to weather.
DK’s Brain- That’s not my problem.
Me- It didn’t rain here but there were thunderstorms in the area (Al Roker moment).

2) Ching Chong Man- (tips me $1.11)
I personally wondered why this was the case.  As a member of the won-dolla tip nation was he excited that South Korea & Japan won & advanced to the round of 16 or did he think I was numbaaaa won?

3) Chick from a small town in Virginia- We spent $23 for a pitcher of Miller Lite at this place we were just at.
Sucks for you.  She was pretty chatty this blonde southern belle but it was one of those boring chats.  She bolted out of my cab because she needed to pee..but her dad was the one who paid anyway.

4) (As soon as she gets in the cab) this chick- Don’t try and take me the wrong way hahaha I know where I’m going.
Me- And why would I do that? It’s a waste of time.
She tipped me 40 cents.

5) Lady- I’m so relieved that you’re not an Arab driver.
Me- Ha why?
Lady- They’re always so loud.  Where are you from anyway?
Me- Right here in New York.
Lady- So why are you driving a cab??
Me- Puttin some $$ in my pocket since the job market sucks (Sports Management).
I picked her up around 12th street and Broadway and she was a hella interesting character.  We first talked about schools we went to (me- NYU & her- Brown) & how back when she went to school it was only $15K for tuition AND room & board.  She was able to convince them to give her a scholarship because she told the financial aid office a sad sob story that her mom doesn’t even have money to go out to eat with her husband.  “I’m like the only person who paid off their student loans.” Well ain’t that nice.  I tell her how my parents have been able to put us through schools and for some unknown reason she gets jealous & confused.  “I make around a quarter million dollars a year and I’m still struggling to put my kids through high school.  Imagine college??”  Wait..come again?  Even though she’s now a single parent (due to her breakup with an ex-husband) I don’t understand how even though I’m sure hella taxes are taken out that this is a struggle.  I mean, it didn’t help she has a $50K credit card debt but I suppose that ain’t here nor there?  She hates Mormons with a passion because of the whole multiple wives thing and I learned that supposedly Muslims aren’t supposed to kiss their girl unless they’re married??  I must say however she is aging gracefully I love when they get in my cab mmm mmm ha.

6) A recurring theme yesterday was going back and forth from Manhattan to Brooklyn..and even having a couple of intraboro trips in the BK.  I pick up this chick who looks exasperated as hell (sweatin like she just came outta a hot yoga class) and the only reason why I picked her up…was because the previous cab she was in had gotten side swiped.  Dear God.  I saw at least 3 cab drivers get into accidents last night..and another 4 break down because of the heat.  Thank God I took mine to the shop when I did.

7) Right after I dropped her off I was plottin my return to the city where I get hailed by some chick.  Her boyfriend’s bike got a flat tire & they didn’t feel like walkin to the train/bus so they saw my van and thought it was their lucky day.  It sure was..and for me too because Park Slope from Williamsburg is pretty expensive ($16 or so).  “We should take this van to Atlantic City hahaha and try our luck even more.”  Hey, if you’re willin to pay me $400ish for a cab ride then sure ha.

#8: Won-Dolla Tip Nation Member- Can you go around the corner? We need to pick up something?
Me- Uh..okay.
Her- Run the meter. This will take about 10 minutes.
Me- Aight cool.
DK’s Brain- Fuck it.
(Boyfriend brings in a mirror)
DK’s Brain- For real??
Boyfriend- Astor Place & Broadway.
He then tells me to make a left on 4th avenue when I was on 9th street.  Umm..not happening.
Him- If you can make a U-Turn on Astor that’ll be great.
DK’s Brain- If your ass tips more than $1.00 that’ll be great.
This caused me to deliberately pass by 2 Asian ladies hailing a cab on Broadway & pick up a group of 5 who were heading to K-Town (but were not Asian).  They tipped $4 on a $8.70 ride.  Genius.

9) I go to the Meatpacking District & pick up this chatty chick who unfortunately has a boyfriend.
Her: Ready for an adventure?  100th street & 4th avenue in Bay Ridge.
DK’s Brain: DEAR GOD.
(If you’re wondering how much that would cost, it’s around $32 before tip).
She was hella cool- She’s originally from Arizona (so we talked about her thoughts on the immigration law- in which she thinks is okay but doesn’t like the fact that it can fuck with families since kids could be taken away).  Her thoughts on cabbies- “The ones who take me are really cool but there’s some who really hate me for taking them so far out of the way.  One guy who after we told him that we tip well said “so where’s my extra money?” You just don’t say that.”  Then we talked about passive-aggressive anger in which I sorta made fun of her for because she told me she got angry without cursing out a cab driver.  It’s on some “Timothy! How could you!  Heavens to Betsy!!” shit ha.  She didn’t understand why people were still outside by the water at 2am, she said she’d be in bed making love.  Gah.

10) I had avoided going anywhere north of 34th street ALL SHIFT (which is a miracle) and being on Ludlow at 3am there was no way I was going uptown.  No way.  There were cabs waiting around for people coming out of the bars..yet these two chicks wanted to get in my cab.  With their boyfriends.  This had all the makings of something interesting.
Girl- 138th street & 5th avenue..take the East Side Highway Please.
Me- LMFAOOOO East Side Highway (inaudibly to myself).
Long story short, these four motherfuckers basically gave me a live clothed sex show in DK’s Bordello.  The 2 chicks were making out with each other at one point, one of the broads was gettin her tits rubbed under her shirt and archin a lot while her neck was being kissed; one of the guys said “Taxi Cab Confessions ahaha I bet the cab driver is loving this.” Believe it or not…not really (except the chicks kissing).  I’ve been deprived so long and 5th wheeling would suck huge horsecock.  We got stuck in traffic around the 110s because of late night construction and the confusement made me go to the Bronx..but no worries because the Exit I needed actually gave me a more direct way to their apartment.  They tipped me 25%.  I gave their sex show a C- there was too much talking about needing to take showers/let’s take showers together/I’m about to have sex in this cab.  This is like the champange room muh fuckas, no sex in this shit unless it’s…me.

God Bless & Goodnight.  And so on.


DK’s Brain- Why Having Your Own Cab Can Suck.

While the advantages of having your own medallion far outweigh not having one; the problems when you do encounter them on your own cab are magnified.  Attention to your own cab is much more palpable, as even the most minute problems need to be addressed ASAP before they snowball.  I haven’t been able to drive for the past couple of days due to my compressor being broken, as well as a radiator leak.  With this recent summer heat- it HAD to be addressed and quickly…it had been blowing nothing but hot air for the past couple of weeks & customers WILL demand the air conditioner.  It’s not so bad when the sun goes down but even so, when people get drunk they get hot too ha.  Plus, a radiator leak ain’t cool.  It can affect the transmission and once that happens, it’s God bless & Goodnight so I have to take the L for a couple of days.  It doesn’t help when your partner who also drives the cab with you notices the problems himself..but just wants to put a band-aid on it..and is now down in Atlantic City gambling his life away.  That’s neither here nor there, though.

Also, every five years you have to get a new car.  The list of approved cars can be found here. It has to be brand new and then painted yellow with all the taxi amenities, etc…which when the dust settles can cost around $35-$50K depending on the vehicle.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 6/20/10).

Usually on a Sunday it’s the calm after the storm in regards to people.  While this Sunday was no exception- people seemed to be more talkative.  Somehow.

I picked up a passenger around 6th avenue and 20th street heading over to 51st street and Broadway..which I didn’t expect because he had let a couple of other empty cabs pass him by before deciding to hail for mine.  He talked to me about the weather (as usual) and how downright brutal it was.  It was confusing weather though because he said in Brooklyn the skies darkened/looked menacing but it never did rain (unlike in the Bronx)..but where I was at in Queens it stayed sunny the entire time ha.  I later found out back in the day he used to be a cab driver many years ago (I’d venture to say in the 70s or 80s) and told me about how he got robbed one night at gunpoint.  Even though he had the partiton closed, the guy acted as if he was gonna give him money through the front window. The driver then rolled his window all the way down (the nativity of being 19 he said) and that’s when he pointed the gun to his head, asked him for everything he had (only $30 though) and demanded him to drive off.  Talk about God being on your side; people these days are 10x more reckless.

I headed to LaGuardia Airport and picked up this sassy Australian lady who was nothin but smiles heading back into the city.  She told me that she had just came back from Colorado from the weekend…but it’s something she does basically every weekend.  What on earth?? I wondered if it was for work..but she told me no- that it was for her to go see her kids that still lived out there.  Colorado is extremely random to me ha- I told her that doesn’t sound awful, even though that’s a ton of money you’re shelling out by week.  She HAS to be a frequent flyer for some airline..dontcha think?  But anyhow- the Western Australian native told me the story of how she moved to the US 15 years ago but has only been in this city for the past year and a half.  She WAS married for 16 years but ultimately cut it off with her husband because she felt that he became less appreciative about shit & his family began intervening too much.  In code, he was losing his manhood.  She told me to never get married lmfao since she’s done it and that she’ll never get married again.  Eligible cougar bachelorette for life is the only thing I was thinkin.  She even says dating sucks and makes her want to turn into a lesbian (with that chuckle you hear from em).  I told her with that kinda attitude soon everyone is gonna be gay and everybody needs to simplify themselves.  The inner hornball in me was about to ask her on a fun date but I just couldn’t get myself to do it ha.  She had to be a good 15-20 years older than me…though she really looked 37.

I picked up this chick carrying some luggage over on Lexington and 51st street whom I almost didn’t see because she was hella tucked in the corner.  She was flabbergasted that no one would stop for her because taxis thought she was going to the airport.  “I promise I promise I’m not going there I just want to go home.”  I told her straight up that I could care less because it’s a Sunday night and actually going to the airport would be MORE of an advantage since the streets aren’t even that great on Sundays.  She was afraid that I was gonna yell at her ha.  That’s one of the many stigmas good cabbies have to fight against the common people.

Heading towards the West Side  & 7th avenue at 57th street I saw a brotha hailing a cab to no even though it’s illegal in Manhattan to make U-Turns, I had to make one for him.  He was goin into Astoria passing through the QUEENSBRIDGE PROJECTS SHOUTOUT TO RON ARTEST!! but that wasn’t the point ha.  He asked me if $20 was gonna be enough to get him to 18th street and 25th avenue and I told him it would easily do so. “Keep it real wit me bc I’m bein real wit you” was what he said. “Them Indian mothafuckas start buggin out on me when I tell em that I only have $20 and need to get somewhere..they go “ok no problem” but then when I get to the spot they on some other shit if it’s $22 or $23 they start gettin pissy.” We mocked the whole “my friend” shit they always say. Muh fucka you ain’t my friend nor are you tryin to be ahahah.  He doesn’t understand why they try to treat Americans like second-class citizens yet they move here and all they do is bitch about the predicaments they’re in.  Yes, driving a cab sucks in some aspects but it’s a fuckin job. Ask 10% of Americans right now if they’d want to drive a cab because they’re broke.  I mean, as black folk who have lived here our entire lives, we have the right to bitch..but not you. Go back home if that’s how you’re gonna act.

Our convo got a bit deeper when I pulled the “why do they tell us to get over slavery but never tell Jews to get over the Holocaust” card..and he firmly believes in the “it is what it is” factor.  Everyone at some point has been enslaved and has found ways to overcome that..and it’s a chain of events.  He believed that life is flawless (nature in its purest form) but we as humans have disrupted this flow.  I found that to be interesting.  Then he pulls the “everything happens for a reason” cause in regards to people’s actions.  “There has to be some kind of reason people are rapists or gangbangers..that’s probably what their reason for being on this Earth is..because I could never picture myself being any of that.”  That got me thinkin because what makes people unique is what they use their brains for and how they are wired.  If everyone’s brains were wired the same way, you wouldn’t have these psychos or these all-world philanthropists, etc.  But this ain’t sociology, this is Taxi Cab Chronicles so lemme stop ha.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Wed-Fri Recap).

With my air conditioner broken, this was a potential recipe for disaster.  Fortunately (for the most part), the weather cooperated with me.

Yall Indians/Pakis/Bengalis are hella hypocritical.  Yall are the main ones who when yall drive a cab won’t ever turn the AC on…yet when yall pack yourselves in like Chicken & Rice to go on 53rd and 6th with hot sauce- yall are crying for AC when it ain’t even 65 degrees outside.  Then yall are the first ones to scream at people when they don’t tip, then yall go ahead with $20 and for me to keep the change which is a dime (that I mind as well could have given to that Sprint lady back in the days).  This happened AGAIN on Wednesday.  Can someone explain this to me?  Anyone?  Not for nothin also but yall make my cab stink too. BO is a no-no.  Here in America and NYC in general there is no monsoon season (unless it’s the desert Southwest)  so stop waitin for it to rain and that’s when you feel showers are necessary.

If you’re gonna take me to Newark Airport from JFK (which is around a $95 trip by the way) and it’s 6pm…there’s gonna be unavoidable traffic.  Don’t bother asking me to take a “faster route”.  “You should’ve taken the Holland Tunnel” bitch that’s the tunnel I’m taking.  Frankly I could have taken the Midtown Tunnel to the Lincoln Tunnel but that route is three miles longer.  I’m savin your ass money.  “Can you turn somewhere and get to the tunnel faster?” Um, Canal street?? For what? All roads lead to the damn tunnel, if I go two blocks south to Canal Street I gotta go back up those two blocks anyway.  And that hole you see? Yes that’s the partition SPEAK TO ME FROM THERE DON’T SPEAK INTO THE GLASS.  And the Newark Airport terminals are A, B, or C not 1, 2, or 3.  I guess you wanted me to do it via code.  Thank God she paid in cash, too.

The only justifiable way to have your hand limp-wristed is by following through on a jumpshot.  Otherwise don’t hail a cab as if you’re shooting a jumpshot.  Sometimes I wonder if gay dudes would make for good shooters.  Their flick of the wrists are impeccable.  Then yall get in my cab and audibly say “This AC succccks.” Yeah no shit; you think in a driving rain I want my AC to be blowing lukewarm air too??  “At least put some musicccc onnn.” Muh fuckas yall are two blocks away from your destination and THAT’S WHEN yall want music. “Don’t worryyy about ittt.” Aight fine, you get to listen to Drake on the radio for 15 seconds.  “Draaake”  (insert Drake’s \”Ooh Lil Wayne\’s Just Too Good\” here).

Dear people who live in Brooklyn.  I love most of yall.  Yall have your tipping etiquettes down pact and are the most appreciative people that get in.  That’s why I never really have an issue with taking yall there, unlike a vast majority of cabbies.  This holds true mostly for Team Park Slope, Cobble Hill and Carroll Gardens.  Even intraboro trips in Brooklyn are nice.  In case yall are wondering how much it costs to go from Park Slope to the Upper East Side…it’s around $30-$32 before tip.

Question to DK: Don’t you think most cabbies especially with tourists take the long way to go somewhere?
A: Absolutely…although it’s a double edged sword.  To try and trick someone by going an extra few blocks is really only netting you an extra $1-$2 at most..when you’re more likely to waste time having that person in your cab as opposed to starting a new fare in which you’re gonna get $3 just for them sitting down.

This dude who had to be in his early 30s had himself a little tourist moment when he took pictures of these 6 chicks standing outside of a place that was making a Grand Opening (Promenade- 215 West 28th street between 7th and 8th avenues).  They were decked in Halloween gear and he says “ohh man, guess I’ll be coming here tonight! That sold me man!” And he was going on a date ha.

Lady who I pick up on 122nd and Broadway who wants to go to 19th street between 6th and 7th avenues- “Why don’t you take the West Side Highway?” Me: Because it’ll cost you more money and you’ll STILL run into lights after 57th street.  Sweet Jesus when will yall people ever learn?  Going uptown it makes perfect sense (especially if you’re going to the Heights) though.  Hell, taking 9th avenue south is fairly quick in itself.

To the people talking about Johnnie Walker in my cab: The Green Label is the best-tasting flavor in my humble opinion.  Followed by Black, Blue, Red and Gold in that order.

Why at 8pm on the Thursday night of Game 7 be the time when yall want to go to a Foot Locker and buy a Kobe shirt??  These two dudes in my cab SMFH.  They were eatin pizza and all that good shit too.  “It’s always a black person that picks us up.” Yeah no shit we have to kinda look out for each other y’know?  Even when we know yall ain’t gonna tip.

These two girls get in my cab goin to the worst club on the planet Webster Hall and are elated when they hear the Celtics were winning heading into the 4th.  “I hate Kobe.”  I swear, Kobe Bryant is the most polarizing athlete on the planet.  If you can name me another one, I would love to hear it.

I swear, some of these girls who get in my cab absolutely overpower me with their hairspray smells.  They smell really good (usually a Vanilla scent) but why so much of it?  Perhaps yall need to work on your hygeines 10% more.

I’m comin up with some shirt ideas.  Some of them include the “Won Dolla Tip Nation” with the O being the South Korean symbol on the flag; “Money Theivin Park Avenue” in honor of yall cheapskate tippers on that ritzy avenue; and “Yuppiesburg” in honor of my love-hate relationship with Williamsburg.  More ideas to come soon.  That’s all the time we have now.  No work today.  And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 6/15/10).

I’m gonna do it in shoutout form today:

1) Shoutouts to this couple in their 50s who were my first passengers of the day who took me back to Rosedale (where I live) ha.  Obviously you have to ask the driver if they know where they’re goin and when I told them I lived there they were much more at ease ha.  We even started talkin a bit about the town because the guy was pissed that BOTH of his cars parked by his house had their tires slashed (for no real reason) and it’s a shame that it’s not the same neighborhood.  This isn’t 100% true in my opinion but I blame it on kids not knowing how to act anymore.  Rosedale used to be a predominately white neighborhood but it’s primarily a Caribbean-American one now but they’ve been there for 40+ years right by good ol’ PS 38.  I went to St. Clare’s for elementary school until I left in 6th grade ha.  In case you’re wondering how much a fare from JFK to my hometown’s around $15-$18 before tip.

2) Shoutout to the Grade A Jackass Charlie Rose (google it) who gets in my cab around Central Park South and had me go to 82nd street between Park & Lexington.  He tells me to turn the radio off (which I originally understood..even though it pissed me off because I was listenin to the Mets game and only had my speakers on)…and then I took Madison Ave up (which is quicker than taking Park up because of the synchronization of the lights on Madison).  When I get to Park he decides to get out at the with credit card and leave me absolutely nothing.  Really?  If you’re gonna leave me nothin at least pay in the Verifone’s gonna take 35 cents out of me SMFH.  He was slick about it too; gettin the hell outta dodge before the tip showed up on the meter otherwise I was about to get hella slick on him. Knock his fuckin toupee off.

3) Shoutouts to the older Phillies fans who got in my cab after they got their asses kicked by the Yankees.  Yes I’m a Mets fan who doesn’t particularly like the Yankees..but they’re clearly the lesser of two evils and they have my respect now.  It took a lot of restraint from me to not mention anything because yes the Phillies have been more successful than my squad for the past couple of years so I have nothing to brag about and of course..they’re paying customers ha.  But I have a ton more respect for older fans of any sport because they’re much less obnoxious & more unbiased than people my age.  Oh and thanks for the extra $2.25 in quarters, nickles & dimes that you wanted “to get rid of” as tip ha.

4) Shoutout to the dude who reminded me my meter hadn’t been turned on after I went four blocks ha.  I have a tendency to do this.  “You must have been distracted by the blowout going on.”  I probably was ha.  The Lakers were up by 20 in the 2nd quarter.  Truth be told though sometimes when I set my GPS up I tend to forget the meter because I naturally believe that I started it up.  A mistake like that on a Tuesday is okay because not that many people are looking for cabs but on a weekend forget it, you might get ambushed.

5) Shoutout to the Spanish dude who took me into Queens at around 1:30am and had no qualms about the detour I was forced to take because his exit off the LIE was closed.  I bet most people would have been flustered.  I love detours though ha because it means more money flowing into my pocket.  I think me allowing him to smoke a cigarette (albeit he had to blow the smoke outside because I DESPISE its smell) had a lot to do with it.  In reality I shouldn’t let anyone smoke in the cab but if it means a better tip, I’ll make the sacrifice.  Besides, I have air fresheners & a spray.

6) Shoutout to the people on Twitter who everytime I type on the search “cab driver” or “NYC Taxi” basically say the same shit.  “The cabbie is trying to kill meeeeee.”  I can’t wait for the day someone tweets about my cab ride and then I “RT” it, it’s gonna be pure comedy and yall will be the first to know about it.  The ratio of people bitchin vs. people lovin their ride is about 8 to 1.  But hey, if you’re gonna be like person #2 then you deserve a cab driver that drives insane.  And I’ve already broke down to yall a while back why cabbies drive the way they do.  If not, peep this & take notes, suckas.

Sidenote: LMFAO at yall clowns over at the Seaport yesterday actin niggerish throwin chairs & shit waiting on an extremely overhyped rapper to perform (Drake).  And so on.