05
Jun
10

DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 6/4/10).

I hadn’t driven in a week…but it felt like an eternity. Even in the very beginning of my shift I felt as nervous as I did when I first began driving the cab.  I have NO idea why; but in a way I’m glad I took the break I did because this past week I felt as if I was on edge anyhow and the last thing you wanna do is compound the stress.  On the other hand though, Memorial Day Weekend for me was trash & I woulda been better off taking today off.

Once again ladies & gentlemen…telling me the name of one street does NOT constitute an address unless you give me a number before it.  Telling me “Kenmare Street” will make me just drop you off the first place I see it.
Lady: “You know where Kenmare Street is right?”
Me: Yes.  Kenmare and where?
Lady: (silence)
(at Kenmare)
Lady: You know Kenmare and Cleveland Place by La Esquina (a restaurant on the opposite side of the street).
Me: We’re right here.
Lady: Drop me off on the corner.

And then she asks for cents back WTF ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKERY.

I’m riding up Lafayette/4th Avenue and at a red light on 14th street this blonde chick comes out of nowhere & hops in.
Her: 18th street.
DK’s Brain: The fuck?
Her: I’m running a bit late for my date.
Me: Ahh love is in the air?
Her: *chuckles* well it’s summertime.
DK’s Brain: The summer solstice is June 21st smfh.
DK’s Brain: Ha you should ask her if the date doesn’t go well to be the next contestant.
Her: You probably think I’m lazy.
DK’s Brain: It’s money in my pocket.
Me: Only because you’re running late you’re not.
DK’s Brain: Not like it matters the dude’s prob gonna pay for everything else anyway.
Me: I’ve had someone go around the block before so you’re not THAT bad.

I almost ran her over on my way out though ha because she walked in front of me.

I pick up these six black chicks around West 3rd street goin into Brooklyn.  Ugh.  Not this early…but there isn’t much you can do, right?
One of them: You got six beautiful BLACK chicks in your cab. Can’t go wrong with that, right?
Me: Sheeit how couldn’t it be.
DK’s Brain: Sure, but yall are throwin words around like “my son” & “my husband” so the intrigue declines significantly.
DK’s Brain: When will I have six WHITE chicks in my cab?

One of them though has the nerve to ask me what’s takin so long to get to Brooklyn from “West 4th”
Her: Mista, what’s takin so damn long- you take a long way or somethin.
Me: Ha no, this is the right way to the Manhattan Bridge.
Her: I know it don’t be takin this long.
DK’s Brain: The D train was right there.
DK’s Brain: Yeah it don’t be takin this long when there is NO TRAFFIC IT’S A FRIDAY NIGHT!!
Her: I’m drunk.
DK’s Brain: Thanks Rev Run’s Wisdom.
Chick in front: Don’t pay her no mind.
Me: *Kanye Shrug*
(60 seconds later)
Me: We on the bridge now! HOLLA BROOKLYN (claps).
Her: (silence)

Being that I went to Flatbush & East New York yesterday and got tipped really well made me have faith in the African-American community again.  Yall will get benefits of doubts once again.  My people made me proud, especially since that group of 6 were Caribbean-Americans like myself.

Thing I overheard in the cab that make you go hmm: “I had a drink from there & damn it went down my throat so smooth, slitherin nice & shit.”

It makes me proud when I’m listenin to the Mets’ game on the radio & someone else actually tells me to turn it up because they themselves are Mets’ fans.  Good choices.

I picked up these two volleyball chicks from the East Village (doing the infamous 2 stops thing) and once again I was put on the spot to be Cash Cab.  They asked me what year did Columbus sail to America lmfao.  1492 of course (even though he really didn’t get to America, though).  I couldn’t find anything to ask them until they told me they played volleyball at Cal-Berkley…so I decided to ask them which women’s volleyball team has the longest winning streak in the nation (Penn State).  They told me UNC.  I think UNC has the longest ever for women’s soccer I don’t know.  All they said about Penn State though was that they’re a bunch of cheaters ha.  The shorter chick (the one who said she was 5’5″ which is short for v-ball) was def more talkative, I liked her.

My final passengers of the night I picked up in the Meatpacking District.  They asked me if it was okay to take them to the World Trade Center PATH train and then to Brooklyn.  Of course it is ha.  The girl who got in was hella nice, but kinda ditzy.  This was her strange request:
“Can you drop us off near the train but far enough so that I’ll have time to smoke a cigarette…but also where it’ll be easiest to hop onto the bridge to go to Brooklyn?”
She even was confused at her own question.  The simple solution= dropped off between Chambers & Warren Streets ha.

I then talked to the dude a bit about how college basketball you’ll never see a dynasty like the one John Wooden helped create at UCLA ever again, the parody of today’s game because people just want to play & make a name for themselves even in a smaller school (i.e. Butler) and the Washington Wizards (random).

Bridge & Tunnel Saturdays.  God save me tonight.  And so on.

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