17
Jul
10

DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Drake’s Thank Me Later Review).

Nothing too special this past shift workwise.  It was one of those nights where I only stayed in Manhattan.  The only highlights of last night were:
1) “Driving on the left lane..the slowest possible lane (on 2nd avenue).”- Umm, ever heard of the right lane where the bus runs you jackass?  Not to mention the left lane has a new turning lane on every even block..so shut the FUCK up.  The middle lane is the “fastest” lane down 2nd avenue good point but to say I was on the slowest lane is ignorant.  Then again they were comin from the most ignoramus bar in the city (Calico Jack’s).
2) While dropping this chick off on 9th avenue and 59th street, I was driving behind a Porsche 944.
Her: BEEP HIM!
Me: LMFAOOOOOO okay (honks)
Her: I’m a New Yorker by nature I can’t help it.
Me: Well, he’s drivin a Porsche in the city…if I was, I’d probably be driving just as slowly/carefully.
Her: Point well taken..you got me.
DK’s Brain: Well, you know what they say when you got her mind…
3) I had to go to 88th and Broadway and I knew the 86th street transverse was closed (Sun-Thurs 9pm-6am & Fri 11pm-8am) so I took 79th street.  After I dropped the dude off he goes off on one of my “colleagues” not knowing the transverse was closed.  “He said ‘No no it okay I know it open’ then we get there & it’s closed he says ‘Oh no no I’m so sorri'” ha.
4) These French muhfuhs I pick up in my only trip to the MPD that evening (yes it was that busy in Manhattan) were askin me where they could find pussy at this time.  Uh, everywhere.  But if you wanna pay for it, go to a strip club.  Prostitutes are outta the question.  It was around 3 so they tell me it’s still very early (yes, but no) and they think they can just voulez-vous couchez avec broads just like alakazzam.  Pfft, if it was that easy Geico would make a commercial featuring me as a pickup artist.

With that said; I’ve been spinning CDs in my cab lately since my iPod has decided it’s wanted to be a piece of shit.  After listening to Eminem’s ‘Recovery’ and being extremely impressed with it…I gave Drake’s debut album ‘Thank Me Later’ a spin.  For the loyal readers who actually know me, they know that I’ve never been too impressed with Drake; he’ll every now and then get me hyped but that’s primarily because of the beats he rhymes to.  Nevertheless, given the hype around the Toronto native since he burst onto the commercial scene- I was REALLY hoping that he’d be on some Stephen Strasberg/LeBron James impactful shit.  I didn’t hear the ‘So Far Gone’ EP of his (which has sold over 500K by the way) so I didn’t know what to expect from a dude who right now has four songs on HEAVY rotation in NYC.  I didn’t want to believe that it would be as overrated as Lil Wayne’s ‘Tha Carter 3’.

I don’t think I ever purchased a CD (actual or bootleg) that made me cringe.

Here I am expecting a hip-hop album and I’m basically gettin a hip-pop/R&B album.  His second song (whatever the hell it’s called) is about 4+ minutes long…but somehow it’s only a long chorus twice and he sings a verse.  Now don’t get me wrong- I can see why some of the ladies really yearn for him; he says shit that ladies really want to hear with his patented “hold this memory like a picture” (and variants of it) lines and him sounding like a fallen hero in a fairytale book.  His flow/rhyme scheme makes him easy to follow and sing-a-long to..which is also nice and I dig that.  But then he confuses the shit out of me.  One minute he’ll talk about how he can’t believe that he’s risen so fast so quickly and how humbled he is; and then the next he’ll talk about nobody’s ever done it like him and the haters are all mad but oh well; then the next he’ll talk about how he hasn’t changed; then the next he’ll talk about all he’s doin is celebratin, VIP, champagnes, bitches, etc ha.   Lights Up with Jay-Z is the best track and shows the potential Drake has.  The Oh You Fancy Huh track I found myself boppin my head to…thought it was a cool little song.  But aside from those two songs and the ones you hear on the radio all the time (which aren’t even that good)…this is a hella forgettable album.  As my homegirl just told me not too long ago, it’s probably the instant fame that got into his head which caused him to be lazy; which he got away with because people long since accepted him.  Every artist has a lazy album or two (hell Jay-Z and Eminem have) but already on your debut album?  He’s lucky that the mainstream accepts mediocrity.  I’ll thank my local bootlegger now for making me only spend $5 but that’s a $5 I wish I had back.  Overall Grade: D+

And so on.

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