Archive for October, 2010


DK’s Brain: Nicknames I Give To Some Parts of NYC (Part I).

Here goes nothing.  Also, if yall got any nicknames of your own for these or any other parts of the city, let me know and I’ll probably add them along.

1) Chelsea= Rainbow Road.  Pretty self-explanatory, their flags wave loud and proud in this area.  So do these people (well most of them).

2) Park Avenue (60th-96th streets)= Penny-Pinchers Paradise.  What can I say?  The worst overall tippers in the city make their home here; even though they have some of the most money.  Their sense of entitlement is disturbing.  York and East End Avenues are not much better but Park is so bad to me that unless I HAVE to drop someone off, I avoid it completely.

3) Upper East Side= Yuppie East Side.  Most people who I drop off here fit the mold (or had at one point or another).  They’re stuffy, young and put their noses up to the sky (Kanye voice).  They love their button-ups and polos to go to their Happy Hours at Southern Hospitality and the ilk.  They want to be seen, heard and if they’re young are the next generation of spoiled brats.

4) When I drop white people off in Harlem= Bill Clinton Harlem.  The epicenter of this is near the City College area, however the gentrification of Harlem has made the area safer overall.  Not like you’ll catch me trying to pick people up off of Lenox or ACP (7th ave) though, that’s Black Car territory.  Nevertheless, white people ain’t afraid of movin up and making their homes here and why not?  It’s not as expensive (though it’s getting there) as other parts of the city and the trains that go there are FAST.

5) Williamsburg= New Woodstock.  No treehuggers persay (unless they’re huggin these trees to preserve them for smokin later) but the hippies are in full force.  They got their bikes, they are skinny unlike yours truly, they do know how to party though; albeit it’s not my crowd, I have been at times intrigued to want to chill out there for a night or two.  New Woodstock got a chill vibe to it, as does Williamsburg West (the Lower East Side).  The vast majority of people I drop off here are good tippers also; and especially around Bedford Avenue it’s a good spot to pick up prospective passengers on the low also.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 10/23/10).

Temperatures droppin, less people want to walk= more money for me.

I pick up this Belgian dude from the American Airlines terminal heading into the city (84th and 2nd on the Yuppie East Side) and just like with a good amount of people these days we get into conversation about cars.  He’s surprised that Diesel gas here is more expensive than regular gas since most cars in Europe are Diesel and cost 2/3rds the price apparently.  Hmm.  He’s a salesman for some high-end food company so he tells me about his travels and how he loves pushing rental cars to their limits (driving at 120-140mph on Alligator Alley for example).  Maybe he should train for Formula 1.  But nah he was a cool dude; towards the end we were rankin on bitches and whores (I love when they say those 2 words in any accent) and how ungrateful people are (what else is new).

PSA: When you’re takin a cab from 84th and 2nd all the way down towards Chinatown to Broome and Lafayette; unless you tell me from jump to take the FDR Drive at 8pm on a Friday night…you WILL hit traffic and there is nothing your annoying as fuck sighing and bitching can nor will do about it.  I cannot stand when people ask me if there is a quicker way during extended rush hour.  99 times out of 100 there is not; unless you’re talkin about taking 10th avenue rather than 8th avenue to head uptown.  Should it take 30 minutes on average to get there? No; if there were no traffic it’d probably take half that.  But if you think you were annoyed; I was 5x so.

PSA #2: I don’t get why passengers feel like I’m tryin to screw them over when I make wrong turns.  You really think I care about getting an extra 40 cents on you on purpose when the quicker I drop your ass off the quicker I can start up another minimum $3.50 (well $3 and collect the MTA tax) fare.  Dumb nigga tries to puff his chest at me because I was apparently supposed to turn on 131st street on Madison (since I guess you couldn’t on 133rd- which is where he wanted to go and 7th ave).  I honestly didn’t know; I don’t come up there and niggas like you who cry over some dumb shit are the reasons why.  “It’s only supposed to be $8.” Well okay nigga, I make a left turn on 132nd, get back to 131st and cut across it.  Did it waste much time??  Didn’t think so.  And no it wouldn’t have come up to $8 anyway because the meter ran $8.70 you jackass.  Just pay your $8 and get the fuck out though honestly bc it’s not like your ungrateful ass has a concept of tipping anyway.  Most people if I make a mistake like that don’t get their panties twisted like that but what are you gonna do?

The More I know: These dudes in the LES get in talkin about I should “break in this cab” if you know what I mean.  With ppl bitchin about how little room there is back there; nah that’s not gonna happen I say and we all laugh because it’s true.  But they don’t give a fuck; as no one should really.  They talk about their experiences in Hell’s Kitchen aka New Chelsea and how it’s fucked up how dudes come in business suits and come out in Richard Simmons attire.  Or how one day they seen trannies over by a church nearby.  Or a rabbi that one of them knew, went on tour with the Ungrateful Dead for two years and did some LSD with.  What the fuck ha?  Religion?  Really starting to become overrated.

Math that works in DK’s Favor: $4.70 fare + dude gives me $20 and asks for $5 back + 10 block drive because his boy was complaining that his nipples were gonna fall off from the cold + them needing whores= content.

Yankees lose.  Fans get in my cab hella discontent about the loss.  No word however on whether they were real fans or part-time fans (the ones that come in exclusively in October and suddenly make statuses on the Yankees on Facebook).  DK (Mets fan here) tries to hide his content but would honestly be unable to mask it had the Phillies lost last night and their bandwagon got in.

That’s really about it; the person in PSA #2 really got me heated because I tried havin faith in my people but it was lost…until I picked up a sista who paid $35 for a $28.30 fare and then a black couple who paid $20 for a $15.50.  So at least for the time being my faith has been restored.  Kinda helps when you got Sirius XM on.  And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Passenger Struggles).

Everyone knows how the new economy is taking shape.  People want to call it a recession.  I simply call it an attempt to squeeze out the middle class and widen the gap between the poor and the rich.  One now has to appreciate the value of money- though it’s not getting any easier to keep it.  But that’s an ENTIRELY different story altogether that I ain’t gonna delve into on this blog.  Anyhow, for every Wall Street or Park Avenue person whose nose is stuck in the clouds- you have the everyday person just tryin to get by and taking life for what it is.

This one dude I pick him up on 5th avenue in the teens…and he’s heading over to Chinatown.  I figured it’d be a silent cab ride until he speaks up about how I should have taken a side street to avoid Broadway..but tells me it’s all good.  He asks me how I’m feeling and I tell him that it’s all good here because I’ve come to a point where I’m at peace with myself and the situation that I’m in.  Of course it’s easier to say when you have something to fall back on.  Money doesn’t buy happiness but it buys you appreciation when you DO have it after not having it for so long.  Anyway, he tells me that it’s been rough for him these past few years.  His fiancee left him because he couldn’t afford the finances for their wedding; he’s lost three homes to foreclosure but he’s still standing.  He doesn’t know why it keeps happening to him, but it forced him to take everything one day at a time since it can’t get any worse for him (so he says).  He goes on about how I’m young and just need to spend my money wisely & to not become another him.  Will do.  Then randomly he asks me if I know Jimmy Rollins.  I know the player, but not him personally.  He tells me he parties with him.  I don’t give a fuck ha- I hate him.  He asks to take my number down which ain’t gonna happen so then he offers me his number which I’m gonna pull some female shit on him (take the number down then delete it when he leaves).  Normally I’d say “nah I’m good” but fuck it, he was sorta persisting.

Around Times Square I pick up a woman and her five kids.  They’re heading to the SI Ferry to go home.  Most of the time I see this and I brace myself for disaster/annoyance…but these kids were well-behaved.  Perhaps they were tired after a long day of walkin around town or whatnot.  Anyhow, the woman begins talkin about her plight…how she’s trying to raise these kids with her husband but her husband is out of commission because of a back injury he sustained on the job.  They gave him workers’ comp but with that not being enough, he tried going back to work…only to fuck it up further.  It’s sad to hear stories like this, knowing that in the corporate world you’re nothing but a number that can just be replaced in an instant.  She herself got laid off not too long ago so with the little money they have they’re trying hard to not let their kids feel the pinch too much.  It’s their duty she says, to have them enjoy as much of their childhood as possible and to shield them from seeing what her and her husband are going through.

I picked up a professor at Baruch College who was heading to Penn Station.  Though our conversation was obviously brief, his story was powerful to really make you take a backseat.  Here’s a guy who has a son in college himself but he cannot attend classes at the moment because they rejected his financial aid.  So now he has to go back to the bursar and get all that shit cleared up.  He has to struggle to raise 3 kids on his own because his wife succumbed to cancer four years ago.  He does say that his wife passing away was a burden lifted from his shoulders and that is understandable, because no child should have to see their mother suffering like that.  Yet, even with all of that- he isn’t miserable because of the little things that he still is successful holding on to.  Those who do have the money will never understand; in their thirst for the green they realize that the pastures they’re heading to still doesn’t guarantee that it’ll be green also.  I forget his name, but he gave it to me and to look him up on the faculty directory if I ever needed  something.  Hmm.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 10/8/10).

Alright so I’ve had writers block.  I did have a few people warn me that this would happen and indeed it did.  I got to a point where I just became hella calm and couldn’t hate on people in the same fashion that I was accustomed to.  Nor did anything that really happened to me jump out at me the same way it used to but alas.

This Asian broad is talkin with her friend about how horny she has felt in the past couple of weeks.  Yall women are so basic, yet complicated at the same time.  They’re def more horny than we are but are able to be hella selective with who gets to drill in the BPussy rig.  Talkin about how she wants to have it no-strings attached but not with just anyone random.  Yeah aight, in this city of 8 million people you need to realize you’re not in college anymore honey.  And this isn’t Sex and the City with 8 characters so KNOCK IT OFF.  You do know that my eyebrows were raised and I was listening intently.  Chances of her playing with her vibrator prior to bedtime= 99%.

Gay people are typically entertaining because they’re so fuckin overt.  I pick up a group of five at New Chelsea (aka Hell’s Kitchen) and one of them is literally jumping up and down because they found a van.  With your skills buddy you should join a trapeze troupe.  I have a couple of signs in my cab; one of which says in short to pick up your trash because my cab isn’t the Jersey Shore.  Then I nearly crash the cab when one of them asks “Can you pump up the volume up in this piece?!”  No Hot 97 this ride and it was gonna be a long one- since I had to head over to Park Slope- they wanted 103.5 KTU so hella dance music.  Back speakers exclusive.  Ultimately one of them gets on the phone with their brother (who I’m assuming is also gay) and as we’re passing through Chelsea via 9th avenue gets riled up because he knew a couple of people who got jumped near there by “these fucking nigger thugs.”  Ummmmmmm.  I turn around and say “hey hey hey” but he ignored me initially (he would later apologize).  Then we saw a black person hail for a cab around 24th and 9th “there goes one of those nigger thugs arrest him.”  The fuck ha?  Anyhow, it was his brother’s birthday and all I heard was “next year I’m gonna buy you a cake with a big penis on it.”  Gag.  He did later amend it and say “it’d be funnier if it was a penis with two breasts in the middle and it said ‘Breast Wishes’ ahahaha.”  I like the originality but the fuck?  Money talks. Alcohol talks. A $10 tip after all of that eradicates some of these memories from my memory bank.

And so on.