DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 10/23/10).

Temperatures droppin, less people want to walk= more money for me.

I pick up this Belgian dude from the American Airlines terminal heading into the city (84th and 2nd on the Yuppie East Side) and just like with a good amount of people these days we get into conversation about cars.  He’s surprised that Diesel gas here is more expensive than regular gas since most cars in Europe are Diesel and cost 2/3rds the price apparently.  Hmm.  He’s a salesman for some high-end food company so he tells me about his travels and how he loves pushing rental cars to their limits (driving at 120-140mph on Alligator Alley for example).  Maybe he should train for Formula 1.  But nah he was a cool dude; towards the end we were rankin on bitches and whores (I love when they say those 2 words in any accent) and how ungrateful people are (what else is new).

PSA: When you’re takin a cab from 84th and 2nd all the way down towards Chinatown to Broome and Lafayette; unless you tell me from jump to take the FDR Drive at 8pm on a Friday night…you WILL hit traffic and there is nothing your annoying as fuck sighing and bitching can nor will do about it.  I cannot stand when people ask me if there is a quicker way during extended rush hour.  99 times out of 100 there is not; unless you’re talkin about taking 10th avenue rather than 8th avenue to head uptown.  Should it take 30 minutes on average to get there? No; if there were no traffic it’d probably take half that.  But if you think you were annoyed; I was 5x so.

PSA #2: I don’t get why passengers feel like I’m tryin to screw them over when I make wrong turns.  You really think I care about getting an extra 40 cents on you on purpose when the quicker I drop your ass off the quicker I can start up another minimum $3.50 (well $3 and collect the MTA tax) fare.  Dumb nigga tries to puff his chest at me because I was apparently supposed to turn on 131st street on Madison (since I guess you couldn’t on 133rd- which is where he wanted to go and 7th ave).  I honestly didn’t know; I don’t come up there and niggas like you who cry over some dumb shit are the reasons why.  “It’s only supposed to be $8.” Well okay nigga, I make a left turn on 132nd, get back to 131st and cut across it.  Did it waste much time??  Didn’t think so.  And no it wouldn’t have come up to $8 anyway because the meter ran $8.70 you jackass.  Just pay your $8 and get the fuck out though honestly bc it’s not like your ungrateful ass has a concept of tipping anyway.  Most people if I make a mistake like that don’t get their panties twisted like that but what are you gonna do?

The More I know: These dudes in the LES get in talkin about I should “break in this cab” if you know what I mean.  With ppl bitchin about how little room there is back there; nah that’s not gonna happen I say and we all laugh because it’s true.  But they don’t give a fuck; as no one should really.  They talk about their experiences in Hell’s Kitchen aka New Chelsea and how it’s fucked up how dudes come in business suits and come out in Richard Simmons attire.  Or how one day they seen trannies over by a church nearby.  Or a rabbi that one of them knew, went on tour with the Ungrateful Dead for two years and did some LSD with.  What the fuck ha?  Religion?  Really starting to become overrated.

Math that works in DK’s Favor: $4.70 fare + dude gives me $20 and asks for $5 back + 10 block drive because his boy was complaining that his nipples were gonna fall off from the cold + them needing whores= content.

Yankees lose.  Fans get in my cab hella discontent about the loss.  No word however on whether they were real fans or part-time fans (the ones that come in exclusively in October and suddenly make statuses on the Yankees on Facebook).  DK (Mets fan here) tries to hide his content but would honestly be unable to mask it had the Phillies lost last night and their bandwagon got in.

That’s really about it; the person in PSA #2 really got me heated because I tried havin faith in my people but it was lost…until I picked up a sista who paid $35 for a $28.30 fare and then a black couple who paid $20 for a $15.50.  So at least for the time being my faith has been restored.  Kinda helps when you got Sirius XM on.  And so on.


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