Archive for February, 2011


DK’s Poll Question of the Week.


DK’s Brain- Passenger Refusals

As you can tell, it’s been a relatively quiet week…thus far.  Aside from this Russian woman who I dropped off giving me a $50 on a $23 cab ride and telling me to give her just a dollar back (which shocked the fuck out of me)…nothin special has been goin on.

One of the biggest complaints passengers have is when a driver refuses to take them because they’re going out of Manhattan or into Harlem/Washington Heights/Inwood.  Are drivers technically not allowed to ask a customer where they’re going?  No.  However, the loophole is that if the cabbie’s off-duty lights are on then he/she is under no obligation to pick up anyone.  The same deal goes for if the passenger is going out of the five boroughs; the cabbie doesn’t have to take the fare if it’s anywhere to Jersey or Suffolk…or if it’s to Nassau or Westchester after 8 hours of being on-duty.

When you think about it though it’s hella easy to get away with passenger refusals because the customers at night are so used to it they come up to your window and ask if you’re gonna take them ha.  I don’t have time for that shit personally, fuck you pay me is the motto I follow.  The only way you’re gonna get in trouble is if the passenger gets in your cab, tells you where they’re gonna go and THEN you try to refuse the fare.  Because let’s face it, at 3am on a Saturday night on Essex and Rivington nobody knows what the fuck 311 is nor a cab medallion number is.  TLC though is tryin to up the ante on this…increasing the fine for first-time offenders to $500.  FIVE HUNDRED.  Considering how the garages rape the employees that work for em, that’s a significant amount of change for saying the word “no.”  Second time offenders face a $750 fine and 30-day suspension (if it occurs within a two-year period) and 3 strikes in 3 years= revocation.  Of course, if the passenger(s) get in and begin acting belligerent or gets sick in your cab then all bets are off.

It’s a pretty fuckin big deal.  What are your thoughts?  Sufficient enough punishment or too harsh?  And so on.


DK’s Brain: Top 5 Tipping Sections in NYC.

Every month I’m gonna utilize these rankings, among others.  This power poll is for this past month that I’ve been working.  This doesn’t include airports.

1) Bay Ridge/Bensonhurst- These passengers are amongst the most appreciative that you’re gonna find.  Taking the train back from the city to these areas are an absolute nightmare.  They’re awesome though.

2) Astoria- In the home borough, you can normally never go wrong with them.

3) Penn Station- They always tip well going there; I’m not totally sure why but hey it works.

4) West Village/Chelsea

5) Kew Gardens/Forest Hills

And so on.


DK’s Brain: My Thoughts on Bloomberg’s New Proposal.

For those that may not know, our dictator…sorry, Mayor Bloomberg is proposing a plan to add meters onto livery cabs; thus legalizing them to pick up hails off the street in all of the five boroughs.  You have got to be fuckin jokin.  Livery cabs in the city steal some business away from the yellow cabs already as it is picking up illegal hails without cops doing anything about it…and now this?  Talking about trying to kill off a lucrative business…mind as well quit this and become a livery driver.  Why would I want to deal with all these TLC regulations, paying $1,000/year on a Motor Vehicle Tax that I have to pay every 6 months ($500)?  However, the more I read on this…the more this will be a loss for everyone involved.  That includes the people.

Why does it hurt yellow cabs?  It’s simple…they’re the only ones allowed to pick up hails legally within the five boroughs.  With more competition combined with the exorbitant lease prices cab drivers who work at garages pay weekly; this will only add to more stress and problems for these drivers.  Not every yellow cab driver likes working in Manhattan, there are a few who feel comfortable picking up hails in Brooklyn and Queens (myself included, time pending).  Do less yellow cabs frequent those areas?  Certainly, but also the demand for cabs out there are generally less.  Is anyone gonna really hail a yellow cab in Staten Island?  What will be the use of being a yellow cab driver then?

Why does it hurt the livery cabs?  You thought this would be advantageous to them?  Think again.  They won’t be able to haggle prices with the customers that get in their cars.  Yes, there are some passengers who feel more comfortable getting in these cars than in yellow cabs- whether yellow cabs won’t stop for them or for whatever else.  These cars really are only supposed to respond to calls from customers or if there’s a station so he/she can get in a cab late at night.  By adding meters and giving them the yellow cab treatment, many of these drivers and the garages that support them will have to learn a whole new system on the fly…defeating the purpose of those who left the yellow cab industry to want to continue driving.  They don’t make as much money as yellow cabs as is; throw the added costs and you’re gonna see people dropping out left and right.

Why does it hurt the people?  Yes, the people will have more options at their disposal and will find it easier especially at rush hour to find cabs.  Initially.  But for those who want to go outside of Manhattan they may find it harder to find a yellow cab in particular that is willing to leave the island since that’s the one borough where we have the biggest advantage/trust factor.  80% of the time that I make a trip into Brooklyn I don’t come back with anyone and/or I don’t do an intraboro trip.  With taxi and livery drivers losing patience with these rules and seeing their money dry up…they’ll be even less drivers on the road; making it even harder to find a car to take you to your preferred destination.  Weekends this may not be a problem but on weekdays you’ll feel the pain.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/19/11).

I always find it humorous when people are coming from restaurants and are critiquing the food like they should be on Top Chef.  “The Filet Mingon’s texture was a bit rough in the middle of the left corner.”  Well, not that picky but shit when I go to a restaurant and if I don’t like the food I simply say it was bland.  Talkin about texture your mouth ain’t Picasso.  Talking about the waiter/waitresses and atmosphere is okay though.  My second passengers of the night were on that shit.  Did it surprise me that I dropped them off on Park Avenue?  Never.

When people talk amongst each other about relationships I feel like I’m watching a panel discussion.
Girl: “This one guy said I love you to me on the first date.  Uh, awkwarrrrd.”
Guy 1: “Now that’s just fucking weird.  I’d wait until at least the 3rd date.”
DK’s Brain: (singing What Is Love, Baby Don’t Hurt Me Don’t Hurt Me, No More.)
Guy 2: How long do you usually wait to say I love you to someone?
Girl: 8-12 months but I’ve never really been in love so I don’t know.
DK’s Brain: I’ll fuck you til you love me (Mike Tyson reference).
Guy 1: I think it depends on what you go through with the person and how much time you spend with them.

I guess one of the guys was drunk because they had an interesting exchange about ages.  He said he was 26 but was born in December 85…which would only make him 25.  But he told the girl that if he said he were 29 she would have believed him.

My dad tells me this is the furthest thing from the truth but these Canadians get in my cab and tell me how amazed they are by how much Americans view race/ethnicity/religion compared to Canadians who don’t at all.  I feel them.  The Toronto natives surprisingly don’t follow hockey…but are Raptors season ticket holders?  Strange indeed.  When asked about the crowd reaction Chris Bosh received at the Air Canada Centre they told me it was 2/3rds boo birds and 1/3rds cheers.  We also discussed the weather and I decided to compare the spring-like weather we had on Friday to a stripper who would go naked and shove her boobs in your face and then say gimme my $20 now mothafucka.

Broadway musical recommended for me to see: Jersey Boys.

I really try hard to understand what the big deal is with the fact that I talk with an American English accent and that I’m from New York but I have to realize that I’m an extremely rare breed.  Makin me feel like I’m Jackie Robinson or Obama or some shit.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Weekend Recap).

I got back on my grind this past weekend.  No pothole nightmares, no bullshit, just 5 straight days of workin.

Dude: Her pussy look like an Arby’s Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich.
DK’s Brain: Nasty she got Cheese Wiz too?
Chick: Eww haha.
Chick (to me): Arby’s is a codeword.
Me: Yeah no shit.
Dude (to chick): What does your pussy look like?
Chick: Like a thin line that goes straight down.
DK’s Brain: Bor-ring.

Dude 1: Yo bro, would you fuck an underage chick who was hot as hell?
Dude 2: Sure.
Dude 1: What if you knew you were goin to jail for 5 years for statutory rape..but you knew when you got out she was waiting for you, would it be worth it?  Even if you were getting fucked in the ass in jail?
Dude 2: Well…um…probably.  That fucked in the ass shit idk.
DK’s Brain: Welcome to reality, population 1.
Dude 1: I went down on this chick by accident one night I must’ve been drunk as fuck because I woke up with my head inbetween her legs.  That shit is weird.
Dude 2: Hahaha nooo way.
DK’s Brain: Sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

Quote of the Weekend: “The first thing when you think of the word faggot is Brady Quinn.”

People had the same sentiment that I did in regards to the Jets not being in the Super Bowl.  Granted, people watched but they weren’t as interested.  For the first time in my life I didn’t watch a single live snap, much less listen to one.

I don’t get all gung-ho about astrology signs and horoscopes anymore…but for the most part they find a way to be accurate in descriptions of people.  This one girl and I got into a discussion about this and how she’s somehow always gravitated towards Capricorns.  She coulda just gyrated towards me and my Aquarian ass but…gotta stay professional.

Both my grandfathers had passed on by the time I was born so I never got to experience that…but I swear anytime an older man gets into these “back in my days” stories I feel like I’m 5 and sitting on his lap while he’s recanting something.  This time the guy was talkin about how horrible some winters had been in his lifetime and comparing it to this one, which is arguably the worst I’ve ever experienced.  However, people need to remember this last summer was one of the hottest on record so this is winter’s revenge.

This chick apparently has some of the worst luck.  She had her purse stolen with $400 and two cell phones in it after going to an after-hours spot that got raided; then left something in the cab the next night.  Sheesh ha.  I’ve been an NYC native all my life but I STILL don’t know where the after-hours spots are.  She says they’re everywhere, but play house music.
Me: Do you fistpump?
Her: Fistpumping is offensive to house fans, including myself.  You fistpump and you get kicked out.
Me: What haha, nooooo.
Her: It’s true.  That Jersey Shore shit is an insult to house and techno music. No one fistpumps.
Me: I like to do it to white people music as a joke; but now I know why people look at me with disgust when I do it.
Her: Yeah, it’s not a good look.
Me: Jersey Shore is fuckin hilarious I love that show.
DK’s Brain: White niggerdom.
Her: Ugh no.

And so on.


DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/1/11).

I was supposed to had worked on Sunday night…but my new partner forgot to drop off the cab for me, thus that shit ain’t happen.  Besides, I was tired.  It’s been tough for me to get back into the rhythm.

I hit up JFK as I usually do to start the night but I didn’t stay long.  Apparently plenty of flights into JFK were delayed or cancelled…obviously because of the monster storm that was affecting most of the country.  The wait at the lot was nearly three hours so I decided not to be a sucka and wait; so for the first time in history I drove into the city passenger-less.  The roads were still wet but with the freezing drizzle falling, I didn’t wanna take too many chances.  The One Dollar Tip Nation was out in force on this raw night, with my first two passengers greeting me in that fashion.  The strangest thing I noticed while driving down 2nd Avenue and Lexington Avenue though was that the lights were NOT synchronized.  Not used to that.

Things got trickier for me when I picked up a passenger headin back to the home borough to Forest Hills from Union Square.  Why she wanted to take a cab at 745pm when the train is just fine, I don’t know but whatever.  A relatively boring ride until she overhears Beastie Boys being played on my satellite and she wants it bumped up, so I give it to her.  I ain’t know you was into them like that girl.  Anyway, that was a solid fare and she tells me thanks for the fun ride.  How was the ride fun when you’re only talkin to me as you get out the cab?  It’s not as if I was goin Six Flags Great Adventure on the LIE.  Alas, the more you know.

At 830 I decided to go back to JFK to see if anything improved.  It was a tough decision for me because being around Forest Hills I coulda drove back into the city which was probably still decent, went to LGA to check it out or go closer towards home.  JFK was still trash…so me continually second-guessing myself I just decided to go home rather than drive back into Manhattan.  It’s frustrating because I didn’t wanna take a chance of the weather possibly getting worse even though it was a meager freezing drizzle out there, but I also felt like I shoulda went out there for a few more hours.  Maybe I made the right decision, but when you are your own owner, who gives a shit really?  I’ma be workin 5 straight days upcoming anyway.  Let’s do this.  And so on.