09
Feb
11

DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Weekend Recap).

I got back on my grind this past weekend.  No pothole nightmares, no bullshit, just 5 straight days of workin.

Dude: Her pussy look like an Arby’s Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich.
DK’s Brain: Nasty motherfuckers..so she got Cheese Wiz too?
Chick: Eww haha.
Chick (to me): Arby’s is a codeword.
Me: Yeah no shit.
Dude (to chick): What does your pussy look like?
Chick: Like a thin line that goes straight down.
DK’s Brain: Bor-ring.

Dude 1: Yo bro, would you fuck an underage chick who was hot as hell?
Dude 2: Sure.
Dude 1: What if you knew you were goin to jail for 5 years for statutory rape..but you knew when you got out she was waiting for you, would it be worth it?  Even if you were getting fucked in the ass in jail?
Dude 2: Well…um…probably.  That fucked in the ass shit idk.
DK’s Brain: Welcome to reality, population 1.
Dude 1: I went down on this chick by accident one night I must’ve been drunk as fuck because I woke up with my head inbetween her legs.  That shit is weird.
Dude 2: Hahaha nooo way.
DK’s Brain: Sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

Quote of the Weekend: “The first thing when you think of the word faggot is Brady Quinn.”

People had the same sentiment that I did in regards to the Jets not being in the Super Bowl.  Granted, people watched but they weren’t as interested.  For the first time in my life I didn’t watch a single live snap, much less listen to one.

I don’t get all gung-ho about astrology signs and horoscopes anymore…but for the most part they find a way to be accurate in descriptions of people.  This one girl and I got into a discussion about this and how she’s somehow always gravitated towards Capricorns.  She coulda just gyrated towards me and my Aquarian ass but…gotta stay professional.

Both my grandfathers had passed on by the time I was born so I never got to experience that…but I swear anytime an older man gets into these “back in my days” stories I feel like I’m 5 and sitting on his lap while he’s recanting something.  This time the guy was talkin about how horrible some winters had been in his lifetime and comparing it to this one, which is arguably the worst I’ve ever experienced.  However, people need to remember this last summer was one of the hottest on record so this is winter’s revenge.

This chick apparently has some of the worst luck.  She had her purse stolen with $400 and two cell phones in it after going to an after-hours spot that got raided; then left something in the cab the next night.  Sheesh ha.  I’ve been an NYC native all my life but I STILL don’t know where the after-hours spots are.  She says they’re everywhere, but play house music.
Me: Do you fistpump?
Her: Fistpumping is offensive to house fans, including myself.  You fistpump and you get kicked out.
Me: What haha, nooooo.
Her: It’s true.  That Jersey Shore shit is an insult to house and techno music. No one fistpumps.
Me: I like to do it to white people music as a joke; but now I know why people look at me with disgust when I do it.
Her: Yeah, it’s not a good look.
Me: Jersey Shore is fuckin hilarious I love that show.
DK’s Brain: White niggerdom.
Her: Ugh no.

And so on.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Weekend Recap).”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: