DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Quick Quotation Edition).

I take this dude wearin a Punisher shirt from Cobble Hill up a bit to Bridge & York streets in DUMBO.  Quick fare, just $6.70 but hey on a Tuesday night you take whatever you can get especially when it’s an intra-Brooklyn trip.  He gives me a $10 and I give him back $3.  After he counts his money and straightens it out:
Him: I would tip ya…but I’m broke.
Me: Ha at least you’re honest.
Him: It’s the only way to be ya know?
DK’s Brain: Walk your ass next time.

I’m on the Yuppie East Side at 85th street going crosstown towards Lexington because I don’t expect to pick up anyone.  Suddenly, this couple hails a cab and I proceed to pick them up.  Well, it just turned out that the chick gotta have her makeout session with her date and she hops in the cab smiling as expected:
Her: I’m only  going to 88th and Lexington, I’m sorry.  I’m wearing heels and I just want to go home.
Me: Psh it’s all good, money is money to me especially tonight.
Her: I wanted to get away from that guy too.
Me: I thought you were feelin him though?  You were cheesin and everything when you got in.
Her: No not like that.  He took me out to an expensive dinner.
Me: Well the way you were kissin him…
Her: I didn’t give him tongue!
Me: Then again I didn’t witness the entire Bold and Beautiful-esque scene so I can’t judge.  But you’re leading him on tsk tsk.
Her: I knowww, I feel really bad.  He’s such a nice guy.
DK’s Brain: Where HAVEN’T I heard this before.

We’d talk about date ideas for a bit and I come to find out that she’s from Dallas-Fort Worth, a place I’ve been to.  She loves it out there, I told her I didn’t like that because I spent most of my time in FW.  She understood.

On Friday night I was heading home and I seen these three black dudes trying to get a cab and I gave them per usual the benefit of the doubt.  It was 4am anyway and I figured since they were hailing to go downtown that they’d get me out of Manhattan and at least into Brooklyn.  Turns out they’re goin to Jamaica.  Even better for me.  The fare was $34.70 and they give me $35.
Dude: Yo good looks for pickin us up man, muh fuckas passin us by like we ailens n shit.
Me: Yeah I know how that’s like.
DK’s Brain: The concept of tippin is ailen to you and you look like Shelden Williams too (no Candace Parker).

Girl: I dress sexy for myself.
Me: As you should, although I know you do it to garner attention too stop lyin.
Girl: Well, any male attention I do get is a bonus.
Me: I’d approach you if I were drunk.  Don’t take it the wrong way though, it’s because I’m shy and wouldn’t wanna get rejected so I’d drink to muster confidence.
Girl: Aww only when you’re drunk though?
Me: I mean you’re cute right now and I’m sober.
Girl: Haha that’s better well thank you.

And so on.


0 Responses to “DK’s NYC Taxi Cab Chronicles (Quick Quotation Edition).”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

April 2011
« Mar   May »

%d bloggers like this: