Five Dollar Dingbat.

A few weeks ago, I was drivin up 3rd avenue on the Yuppie East Side after I dropped a passenger off somewhere around 82nd street.  Usually I hate that area so I turn right back around and head back downtown via Lexington for two reasons.  One to get the fuck outta dodge and two because 2nd avenue is all jacked up with construction even though there are more bars and the ilk around there.  Don’t get it twisted, most people that go to those bars don’t even go far anyway so to me it’s a waste of effort.   Surprisingly, I see someone hailing for a cab at 83rd street and I blocked this dude from cutting in front of me to pick up this woman.  I thought it was success.

Her: 86th and East End Avenue.
DK’s Brain: WTF.

I get there in 2 minutes tops.  The total comes out to $4.70.  This woman takes about 3-5 minutes playin hot potato with herself tryin to find me the money for this fare.  I immediately sense that this is gonna be a problem.  I’m hopin she didn’t spend her last $5 at the McDonalds that I picked her up from.  Then she tells me some shit about how she’s gonna call her mom so she can give her the money.  SERIOUSLY?  I tell her that $5 really isn’t that serious and if she really doesn’t have this money she can hop out.  Yet she insists on wanting to pay me this $5 so she tries using her card.  Declined.  Times are hard.

Having your credit/debit card declined is definitely in my top 5 most embarrassing things that can happen to someone by the way.  Especially when you see their reaction “oh this can’t be.”  To quote Obama, YES IT CAN.

Anyway, she’s pissin me off wasting ten minutes of my life that I’ll never get back, even if I went through a time warp.  I make the U-Turn and just tell her to get out since obviously this $5 isn’t happening.  She’s hella apologetic.  I don’t buy into it.  Your ass was just too lazy to walk 6 blocks get the hell outta here.  Givin me that “sorry to bother you” look that peddlers give you on the subway.  I just got peddled in my mind.  Whatcha gonna do?  Drive back downtown at 330am.

And so on.


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