02
May
11

Our Cab Driver is Hot.

This past Saturday night I was doin my thing as always, dominating.  I just finished droppin off a couple at the infamous West 3rd and 6th avenue corner and these four ladies get in the cab wanting to go to some bar on 23rd and 2nd called McSwiggles.  The reality was, they were lookin for somewhere that had a DJ and I really didn’t know if that spot had one because I’d never been there.  One of the girls then asks me for a suggestion and I tell them Central Bar on 9th street between 3rd and 4th avenues has a DJ.  They approve and say they’ll give this place a shot before meeting up with their other girlfriends.

Blonde girl in the back: Wait a minute, our cab driver is pretty hot.
DK’s Brain: ?!?!?!?!
Me: Well I’d like to believe that I’m a fairly decent looking guy.
Girl 2: I don’t think we’ve ever had a hot cabbie before.
Blonde: I gotta take a picture of this (takes out her blackberry and takes my side profile pic).
DK’s Brain: slfnskjsouifgbid Jackpot?
Girl sitting in the front: You are quite the cutie.
Me: This is…well flattering.
DK’s Brain: It can’t be that hard to be considered a good lookin cab driver tho.
DK’s Conscience:  Stop bein so damn negative and get with the program you got a 4 for 1.
Me to the girl sitting in the front: You got a ring on that finger tho hmmm.
Girl: (pretends to cover it up): Haha, well…I stole it hahaha.
Me: I want the blonde one.
Girl to her blonde friend: Told ya you shoulda sat up front.
Blonde: I like those big lips.
DK’s Brain: This is the only time where supposedly lookin like Jay-Z benefits you.
Me: I know how to use them too.
Blonde: Can you get this dancing bug out of my ass?
Me: I can perform that surgery for you for free if you like but I do have to continue to make that money.
Girl up front: You should come in with us and party.
DK’s Brain: FUCK WORK.
Me: Well, I gotta keep making that money or else how will I buy your drinks?  Then again, it’s all good because you ladies look independent enough to buy your own ha.
(Girls collectively laugh and ponder)
Blonde: Are there black guys there?
DK’s Brain: DING DING DING DING
Me: Not really but I’m one that goes there from time to time.  Are you a fan of JUNGLE FEVER?
Blonde: Since day 1. (her other girlfriends agree)
Me:  My kind of woman.
Girl 4: We should just drive around all night fuck it.

I drop them off and the blonde again complements me on my “nice big lips”.  Girl, if you don’t know you better ask (or axe depending on pronunciation) somebody.  Yo, I need to start making personal cards.  Would I have gotten the number if she was by herself?  Hell yeah I woulda.  God bless my job on occasion.  And so on.

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1 Response to “Our Cab Driver is Hot.”


  1. May 5, 2011 at 1:19 am

    This was so enjoyable. I mean all of them are but for some reason I’m sitting here cracking up!


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