Young Cougars.

I’m down in Tribeca, nowhere close to DeNiro nor will I be hood forever.  Crusing up 6th ave, all yellow Volkswagen.

Anyhow these four ladies run up to my cab at a green light down here and are heading to the Meatpacking District to grab some dinner.  These girls are loud…and anytime I get loud people in my cab I automatically assume they are Bridge & Tunnel Muh Fuhs.  One of them keeps talkin about how cute and gentlemanly some dude they met at some bar was.  I swear I felt like I was caught up in an episode of Real Housewives of New York with the way they were discussing this guy.

“Did you get his number?”
“Uh, YAH!  I gave him mine too AND I kissed him.”

You get the idea because if I were to type more it’d give me a headache no acupuncturist could relieve.  The strategy was to have this guy come hang out with them later at some MPD spot and they were thinking Maritime Hotel (9th and 16th) and asked me for suggestions.  The fuck I look like?  I’m not an MPD guy whatsoever but hey if you’re looking for somethin more hip since yall considered Maritime to be “old news” then go to the Standard Hotel (13th and Washington).  Fuck the overrated as hell Gansevoort Hotel (13th and 9th).

Blonde Girl: “Damnit I’m 34 years old and I need to have more fucking sex with guys before I settle down and get married.”

I applauded her for that comment and her female friends also did the same, getting a kick out of the fact their cab driver clapped for her.  Well shit, what you want me to do, put a gas face on?  I joke about cougarlife.com but the lady that was sittin in the front with me wasn’t as enthused.

Her: 34 is NOT a cougar.
Me: What is it then?  To me it is.
Her: Not at all, cougar is like 40-45+.
Me: I’m 26 so 34 is cougar-ish…ok fine fine that’s a kitten.
Her: (shakes head in disagreement)
DK’s Brain: You meant PUMA.
Me: Meh, age and height ain’t nothin but numbers anyway if that makes you feel better.
Her: True…true.

And that was pretty much it.  Lately it’s been the blondes in the groups that have been the most vocal, I dunno what gives.  They looked too much like socialites tho and sounded as such because they were talkin about dudes + finance sector.  Unless you can get a hookup on stock tips, prices on precious metals and so forth…the whole schlep ain’t shit.  My 2 cents (no tip).  And so on.


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