22
Aug
11

Brainfreeze.

Friday nights typically wear me out because that’s my “all hands on deck” day.  Saturday nights don’t get intense until around 10pm anyhow so I tend to start later.  This also means that you’ll have passengers who do much dumber things.  You bear with them and in most cases they don’t really have anything to apologize about.  As long as they catch it on time.  Like this chick.

I just dropped off these people over in Chelsea…where a chick rockin a blazer as bright pink as her lipstick was waiting for a cab.  Pleading that I was free, I nod yes and she clasps her hands like I’m a black Jesus statue.  In a rare 330am moment, she did NOT smell of alcohol at all and in fact still smelled like strawberries.  Who needs car freshener?  We’re headin to 74th and 1st and I’m gonna gun it down 8th avenue before cutting over at 59th street.  We make some small talk about how she can’t wait to go home & that she’s over going out on weekends.  I concur with that- they just don’t feel the same anymore…same old stumblin and bumblin shit.  Around 23rd street, she realizes that she cannot find the card she was gonna pay me with.

Her: oh my god oh my god oh my GOD!!
Me: What happened?
Her: Where is my card?? Don’t tell me I left it at the hotel bar?! Aghhhh FUCK stop the cab stop the cab!
DK’s Brain: Here we go.
Her (frantically searching): I don’t want you to think that I’m taking you for a ride, that is NOT the type of person I am at all.  I would never do that.  That’s why I’m looking for my card right now.
Me: I would hope not.  At least you’re making an honest effort.
DK’s Brain: Watch her be playin games man.
Her: I don’t want you to think that I want a free ride.  Man, and I was just talking about how cool you are and now you probably hate me…
Me: Umm…no why would I hate you?
DK’s Brain: $$$$
Her: FUCK!! HOW CAN I BE SOO STUPID-DAH??  We have to go back and get it I’m soooo sorry right now.
Me: I believe you, relax.
DK’s Brain: Yeah yo relax.
Her: Do you know where the Dream Hotel is by any chance?
Me: Nope.  (looks it up on my phone).  Nevermind yeah I do now.  Let’s do this shit.
Her: You better know because I don’t want YOU taking me for a ride getting lost.
Me: Don’t worry you’re good.
(In actuality I made one wrong turn because I thought it was between 9th and 10th avenues but it is between 8th and 9th avenue but no big deal).
Her: Okay, okay, okay…I’m gonna get out, do NOT leave me.  Besides, I really like you as my driver.
Me: I can’t just stay in front of the spot though, so I’m gonna pull off to the side.  I’ll wave at you when you get out.  The meter will still be running so don’t worry about anyone getting in.
DK’s Brain: DO NOT BLOW THIS.  She would probably blow you, though.
(She does the cheek-kiss thing.  I’ve never had a passenger kiss me before in any fashion).

As she gets out, this couple tries to get in even though I have my off-duty lights on.  The guy tries to front that the card is gone and there’s no way she’s gonna get it back.  One of the worst lies I’ve ever heard ha.  Sara (her name) isn’t that dumb nor was she even drunk so that wasn’t happening and I pull over to a hydrant and wait a few minutes.  Several people ask me if I’m free, which I’m clearly not but hey, like I said a while back, I’m one of the only cars in which I can actually post up outside a spot and actually have chicks come up to me wantin a ride.  Fuck your Maybach.

After waiting a few minutes, she emerges and initially she can’t find me.  I yell her name out and she finds me.  Flustered yet relieved, she gets in and we are off to the races.  I have my homegirl whom I’m supposed to take to the airport around 4ish so I’m in a bit of a rush…but this scenario actually helped me out in terms of killing time.  Besides, the meter was running the whole time.  Sara continues apologizing in which she has absolutely no reason to.  She promises a big tip and all that stuff.  We end up having a conversation, yet it was nothing special so I won’t post it on here.  I did find it funny though that she asked the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS in the EXACT SAME ORDER twice in a row ha (before coming back to the hotel and now heading home).  “Where do you live?” “I worked in Park Slope as a teacher for 4 years.” and there was something else I forget.

After the run-around and dropping her off at 74th and 2nd because she wants to get pizza, she pays.  $21.80 total.  $11 tip.  It pays to be patient sometimes.  And so on.

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