19
Jul
12

Are You Smarter Than A Cabbie?

I can understand the concerns of passengers when it comes to directions.  Some cab drivers (who ruin it for everyone else) have no problem taking their customers for a ride, squeezing extra money out of them.  Personally, I want the passenger out of my cab as quickly as possible (without being reckless of course).  But some passengers have an obsession with certain roads which are unnecessary.

Example 1: Pick up a couple of black dudes on Flatbush Avenue and they want to go to 5th avenue and 39th street in Manhattan.  It was around 2am at the time so there’s no chance that I’m gonna end up getting stuck in traffic on the local.  What I would usually do is take the Manhattan Bridge, go up Bowery to 6th street, then go up 4th avenue (turns into Park Avenue South), turn left on 27th street to go up Madison Ave to 39th street and make that left.  Yeah I know it sounds like a lot, but it wouldn’t take me that much time late at night.  I could also take Canal Street all the way down to 6th avenue, take that to 40th street and come around to 5th.  Either way it makes more sense than them telling me to get onto the FDR.

You sure??  They tell me yes like I’m the one that has 3 heads.  You DO realize that now, I’ll have to go east on Houston Street all the way towards the water…take that overrated highway to 34th street, STILL have to go up 5 blocks and then go BACK across town.  It’s a complete waste of time and effort.  More money in my pocket yes (it came out to $28 when it should have been no more than $24, IMO)…but took a good 10-15 minutes more than it should have.  They don’t tip either, so it was even more worthless (fortunately they paid in cash so I don’t get jerked out of an additional 5%). 

Example 2: Heading east on West 4th street, I pick up a spanish dude and he’s trying to head to 102nd street and Central Park West.  Now, I’ll be heading up 6th avenue and the standard procedure is to take that all the way to 59th street, make a left and go straight til you hit Central Park West, and take that bad boy to the finish line.  

“You’re gonna take the West Side Highway right??” 
No.  Gonna take 6th all the way up.
“NO WEST SIDE HIGHWAY IS QUICKER TRUST ME, YOU JUST GO BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM NO LIGHTS NOTHING!”
(wait…wtf ha?  that shit has lights until 57th street)
You realize that I’d have to go crosstown twice right?  And it’s gonna cost you more money and it won’t be as quick trust me.
“I don’t care about the cost I’ve done this before it’s faster.”
(laughs) Well then…if you say so….
“No no, go whichever way you wanna go”

I was riled up because I’m trying to help this dude out but he thinks because he’s always gone one particular direction that I’m steering him the wrong way.  It was more heated than you’d think.  I actually bumped into another cab because I was tight…but no damage.  Flying up 6th avenue he tries to get smart with me…or was he?

“We would’ve BEEN THERE if we took the highway.”
(I laugh incessantly)
(He laughs nervously) “What’s so funny?!”
Yeah, no we would have been nowhere close right now.
“No I was just fucking with you, this way is pretty good.”

Oh.  Then he tried making small talk because he shares the same middle name as my last name…but I wasn’t having any of that ha.  He’d later apologize, surprised how quickly he got home.

And so on.

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