Archive for January, 2014


Showdown on the FDR Drive.

As yall may know by now, New Years’ Eve is by far the most hectic night of the year for cab drivers. It is pretty much all hands on deck from 8p-8a.  You have people hailing cabs from places you’d never expect & you might not even have to work in Manhattan. For instance, I spent a good hour working in the cabbie wasteland of the Bronx taking fares that I otherwise would never do…and truth be told had I not gone off-duty I might’ve spent another hour or 2. But people in the Bronx generally pay exact fare…hence it is a cabbie wasteland.  I digress however.

I dropped off some bitch I picked up by Lavo. Man was she annoying, she made me pull over at one point where she essentially dry heaved out of my cab and then said sorry about 29173 times. After her 4th time saying sorry I screamed at her telling her that it was fine; in response she began crying and continued to apologize.  She cited that it was her first time ever throwing up.  At times like this I wish I had award ribbons. I thought that I’d be taking her to the Waterside apartments by 23rd and FDR but she just told me to go straight & drop her (a member of the $1 Tip Nation) off on the corner.  I do so and immediately I see two dudes on my driver’s side and two chicks on the sidewalk side wait for her to get out.  One of the dudes (whom I’d later find out is a DJ) asked me if they could take the cab and I said that’s fine, but you gotta wait for this girl to get out.  I then realized that the chicks weren’t with him and that they’d be ready to hop the cab & steal it.  Finally in her drunken stupor she gets out on the sidewalk side, the DJ’s boy gets in on one side while the other 2 chicks get in on the other.  Here we go.

I was going wherever the DJ wanted to- he told me to park by the gas station as he was going to put his equipment in and we’d be out.  I make a U-Turn and head that way.  At first everything is cool- everyone is cordial and whatnot. That is of course, until the DJ puts his equipment in the cab. Then the 2 chicks that had hopped in are wondering what’s going on.  The DJ’s boy tells them that they’re heading out to Brooklyn (Bay Ridge)…the chicks though were staying within Manhattan.  I knew the situation was about to deteriorate rapidly but in situations like these I am powerless because who knows what the passengers of whomever I kick out will do to ME. The DJ is trying to tell me to get them out of the cab which is what I really wanted to do anyway but again, I couldn’t do shit.  Suddenly one of the chicks gets into (insert whatever ratchet reality TV show here) mode and starts screaming that she’s not gettin out of the cab. 
Oh boy. Her other friend tells me about how her husband is waiting for her at home.  This is none my problem.  The DJ is the coolest customer of the bunch saying that if they really want the cab he’ll take his stuff out…but his boy now is having none of it because of the hoodrat beginning to act disrespectful.  She threatens to call her brother who is a police officer and to bring his cops over to the scene.

All over a cab?  Seriously?  I understand it is freezing out here and finding a cab is rough but c’mon now.

The plot thickens as this dude who knows the two chicks comes over and attempts to diffuse the situation.  He also knows the DJ.  Welp. He paid for them to come to the party and to be up on stage with them but apparently the one who is actin the fool was painting her toenails BY THE BOOTH earlier in the night and in general wasn’t even acting right.  No wonder this is all coming full circle and this standoff is taking as long as it is.  Mind you, the meter has been running the entire time and it is now up to $11.  The hoodrat continues poppin off shit saying suck my dick blah blah blah.  Loved one of the comebacks tho- homeboy said “lemme see your dick then”.  At this point he was damn near about to swing at her bc she was actin like a man.  In his words “raised by a single mother she told me any chick that wanna act like a man you treat em like such”.  Also loved the DJ’s response by closing the partition and saying “let the babies have their bottles”. 

FINALLY, the standoff ends with the mutual friend of everyone getting the chicks out and holding them back.  They are strugglin to get from his grasp..which is understandable as he’s gotta be like 6’4 and 220. The chick talking about how she needed to get home to see her husband then sends me an empty threat saying if I pull off that she’s gonna have the cops come after me.  Fuck that, I back out and peel out onto the FDR.  We finally have time to laugh about the entire situation but man that was exhausting as a spectator.  Couldn’t even enjoy bullshitting playing Candy Crush smh.

For the record, I am glad that I picked up the DJ and his people as opposed to those chicks bc I am certain they would’ve been cheapskates anyway.

And so on.